Suave's Republique Cricket

How to bring down Sehwagology, Part II
Kung fu & dressing like The England.

Kung fu & dressing like The England.

As we learnt in part one, there are ways of getting Lord Sehwag out.

One, is Kung Fu.

The other, is to dress him up like he’s a The England player.

See what happens, get him in a navy blue & red outfit, and he automatically becomes shit.  Or maybe he’s scared of the

Fake IPL Player revealing his true identity as the one true Deity.

This may be lies, fabrications & half truths, but it’s a theory.  Just like creationism.

How to bring down Sehwagology, Part I
Danny V was fast as lightning!

Everybody was Kung-Fu fighting...

How do you get rid of Lord Sehwag, when he’s in great nick?

Ask Daniel Vettori, The Geek of Tweak!   According to this photo, it’s Kung Fu.

If you wanna bring down the big man, get the auld Bruce Lee skills out.

Danny V obviously has the skillz to pay the billz, and got Our Lord with some martial art madness!

So bowlers of the world, get down to your local Dojo’s and get training.  It’s the only way!

Albie there for you, when the rain starts to fall.

Ring a ding ding…

Albie Morkel, is a batting behemoth. He reminds me of Lance Klusener in his pomp. Bowls fast medium, and can absolutely belt the covers off the ball.

His 40 off 22 today, was the difference between the sides. South Africa cleverly waited until he got his eye in, then took the batting powerplay, and he went batshit. Admittedly he was helped by poor fielding from Australia (they are looking average in the field at the moment, dropping two catches in the first over of South Africa’s reply). This boy can really strike a ball, and the fact that he has a supervillain as a brother, probably helps. I imagine it would give you that extra confidence one requires, to beat all and sundry.

South Africa now take a 2-1 lead in the series, and it’s turning out to be a cracker.

In other news, The England arrived safely in the West Indies, after pissing off a plane load of tourists, by diverting the flight. They did hand out The England cufflinks to those that were upset by the delay, which is nice.

I’m expecting the england to draw the series. We will not be able to bowl out Grand Lord Megachief of Gold, so it’ll be another year of averaging over 100 for Shiv.

For the sehwagology members amongst us (that should be all of you, by the way, if I find out any of you are non-believers, it’lll be the Suavish Inquisition), our Lord hath spoken..

More to come shortly..

Suave is Watching you Poop.
January 19, 2009, 11:11 am
Filed under: Cricket | Tags: , , , ,

As I’m too busy to do owt like, I thought I’d pass these beauties on for you.. After visiting Watching You Poop, I thought I’d do a little one or two for you kids, just to let you know that Suave is always watching, even if he can’t always find the angry times.

He's got his eyes on your toilet habits!

He's got his eyes on your toilet habits!

He is all seeing!

He is all seeing!

I've got my eye on you sunshine!

I've got my eye on you sunshine!

Motivational Posters
January 6, 2009, 9:25 am
Filed under: Cricket | Tags: , , ,
Spread the word Children, and you shall live forever!

Spread the word Children, and you shall live forever!

To create your own posters, to spread the love, visit here..

Happy New Year!
January 6, 2009, 9:20 am
Filed under: Cricket | Tags: , , , ,

Hello small children of loveliness, Suave here..

I saw something today that reminded me of our beloved leader Viru..

I have decided to post it, for your pleasure too!

This is how to live forever, fuck all that "love thy neighbour bollocks!"

This is how to live forever, fuck all that "love thy neighbour bollocks!"

This is how we need to roll!  I already roll this way, which is why Suave will never die.  Join us, and you too, shall be immortal!

Sloshpot, top work kids!

ODI Team Of The Year 2008

Gautham Gambhir

Top run scorer, firenghi lookalike, allround 2008 superstar.

Virender Sehwag

Again, if you disagree, I will come down on you harder than the Spanish Inquisition!

Younis Khan

Averaged 54, with a strike rate of 94.  Top batting against subcontinental superstars this year.

Kevin Pietersen

Captained The England to a magnificent series win against South Africa, whilst smashing them everywhere.  Is about the only player in The England who can actually play botf formats of the game.

Yuvraj Singh

Annoying prick.  Destroyer of The England.  Averaged 108 against us.  Useful left arm filth too.

MS Dhoni (Wk) Capt.

Winner.  Of.  The.  World.

Andrew Flintoff

Along with Pietersen, mangled South Africa.  Averaged 50 with the bat, and 21 with the ball in 2008.  That is stunningly good.

Stuart Broad

Breakthrough year for Ricky Schroder, took 32 wickets at 25 and averages over 20 with the bat.  A good solid no 8.

Nathan Bracken

Consistently Australia’s best ODI bowler. 31 wickets at 18.  If only he didn’t look like a fucking girl.

Sohail Tanvir

Brilliant in all short forms of the game.  Bowls off the wrong foot, weird windmill action, and looks like an actionman.

Ajantha Mendis

What can you say about a man who took 48 wickets at 10.16.  Just freakishly good.  He’ll get worked out soon, and that average will rise, but don’t expect it to rise too much.  This boy has a world of talent.

12th Man

Muttiah Muralitharan

Probably the only year in the last 10 that this fella didn’t make it into my side.  But if it was a spinning track, I’d go with two spinners, and he’d be second choice.