Suave's Republique Cricket

The Ashes 2009, First test, six word review

Here we are again, with Suave’s six word reviews.  Australia to come this afternoon.

Andrew Strauss

Piss poor captaincy, shit with bat.

Alastair Cook

Fucking piss-weak, public school cunt.

Ravi Bopara

Outwitted, then fucked over by Doctrove

Kevin Pietersen

Look at me, stupid ego cunt.

Paul Collingwood

Gritty street fighter, better than spinners

Matt Prior

looks OK, no smashing just yet.

Andrew Flintoff

Bowled into ground, now fucking crocked.

Stuart Broad

Can’t bowl for shit, find length!!!

Greame Swann

Worse than Hauritz.  One funny fucker.

James Anderson

Batting supremo.  Pitch it up, wanker!

Monty Panesar

Too quick, no variation, soon gone.

Mims’ Made Up Picture of Pure Delight!

After Mims stormed the competition, to guess the correct answer of Basil D’Oliveira from the weekly quiz of wonderment..

Here is her picture-metaphor, with a wink to King Cricket for the inspiration

A cat not being indifferent to cricket

Well done Mims, you’re a star.

Weekly quiz of wonderment is back and bad!
June 10, 2008, 8:55 am
Filed under: Cricket, quiz | Tags: , ,

Hello one and all,

It’s time for the weekly quiz of wonderment, so here goes!

Remember, you get a big shiny picture of pure delight as a prize, see here for previous winners!

Suave South African, now shakes uncontrollably!

It’s a tough one, so get your thinking caps on..

Six word analysis of England – New Zealand test series.

Being a dictator of your own republic, I get to make the rulez.

Six word reviews, for everyone that played more than two tests in the series.  I can’t be bothered with all these shit heads that played one test.

The England

Alastair Cook: Stupid eyeliner wearing dickhead, fucking rubbish.

Andrew Strauss: Wants to play NZ every week!

Michael Vaughan: Looks great at getting himself out

Kevin Pietersen: Scratches around until last game again!

Ian bell: fucking ginger twat.  Suave HULK SMASH!

Paul Collingwood: Time to be put to pasture?

Tim Ambrose: good with gloves, rubbish with bat

Stuart Broad: Too many pies, bats lovely though..

Ryan Sidebottom: Not great, but averaged 20. Bizarre.

Jimmy Anderson: Good, shit, good. Superb in Nottingham

Monty Panesar: One-spell series, superb oop north.

The Old Zealand

Aaron Redmond: Dear lord, this lad is SHIT!

Jamie How: Solid, dependable, not really that good.

Brendan McCullum: Not three, too mental for that.

Ross Taylor: Looks a lovely player. CALM DOWN!

Daniel Flynn: not bad, suspect to short ball.

Jacob Oram: Miserly with ball, 231 runs, somehow

Daniel Vettori: smacked around as skipper, bowled alright

Kyle Mills: good no 8 batsman, bowling rubbish.

Ian O’Brien:  Scares small children, he’s that ugly.

Chris Martin: Bowled cack, Batting is really cack

James Marshall:  Shitter than his brother.  Super shit?

Park’s Prize of a Picture Metaphor!

Hark, Park done won that there quiz from last week!

Here is his prize.  A made up picture of pure delight!  For those who aren’t Australian, I’ve cleverly used part of Wolf Blass’ advertising slogan to bag McGill (if any one from Wolf Blass sees this and wants to send me a case to offer as a prize, then feel free!! RED PLEASE!)*

I reckon this one\'s off..

* If they do send me a case, none of you fuckers are getting any of it!  IT’S ALL MINE I TELLS YA!

You get a poncey picture of no real delight, and you’ll be bloody grateful!

The Weekly Quiz of Wonderment

This weeks quiz is upon us.

It’s a toughie this week, so get your cerebral caps on!

Australian legspinning allrounder.  Loved Old Trafford.

See if you too, can join La Republique’s leader board..

The honours board is as such..

David Barry





The Weekly Quiz Of Wonderment.
May 14, 2008, 3:46 pm
Filed under: Cricket, Picture-Metaphor, quiz | Tags: , ,

Six word quiz time, again children!

Nelson. High Commisioner. All-rounder, fine fieldsman

See if you can guess this weeks quiz of wonderment, and win a made up picture of pure delight!

See if you can join the honours board, in La Republique’s Long Room!

Past winners…

David Barry