Suave's Republique Cricket


De Nederlanders slaan de Engelsen
Where's Dirty Dirk?!

De Nederlanders celebrate a famous victory over The England.

What the fuck happened there?!

Destiny, my friends, that’s what.

After mastering total football in the 70’s under Johan Cruyff, de Nederlanders have now decided to do the same in 20/20 cricket.

Watch out boys and girls, they were unstoppable  (except by Ze Germans) at football during that time, and are bound to do the same to all and sundry in this 20/20 World Cup (luckily Ze Germans are not here).  Never before has there been such a sublime display of a cricket, from a side wearing oranje.

Dirty Dirk bowled well, without any real penetration.

It was left to a couple of old blacksmiths to cause the damage.  Darron Reekers who started off in big bludgeoning style, followed up by Tom De Grooth, who smashed The England all over Lords.   Jrod loved it so much he almost threw up!

My man Ryan Ten Doeschate even got in on the act, a cracking allround display, with a red inker and taking the wickets of Ravi Bopara & Luke Wright.

The England have two young stars at the top of their order, and the rest are a bunch of cunts.   Even Rob Key, the fat knacker.

The bowling, beyond the opening pair was shithouse.   Rashid looked good against the West Indies, but was goes for too many runs.  He reminds me of Stuart MacGill, long hops, full tosses and the odd unplayable delivery.  No fucking good at 20/20, I’m afraid (and surely the fact that he doesn’t get in Yorkshire’s side, should have given them some idea, no?).

Stuart Broad couldn’t hit six stumps, the useless Ricky Schroder lookalike fucktrog.

I’m happy to lose to the Dutch though, because it might make this bunch of fuckfaced De Engelsen players actually learn to play proper 20/20 cricket.   Hardly any of them actually play it,  they’re learning the game in T20i’s.

Here’s to getting spanked by Pakistan on Sunday, and being out of the competition within 3 days!  Good times, my friends!



A birthday post
December 1, 2008, 10:48 am
Filed under: Cricket | Tags: , , , , ,
For Shes a jolly good fellow, and so say fatty and skinny!

For Shes a jolly good fellow, and so say fatty and skinny!

It’s Kent Superfan, Sarah’s birthday,  and it was Durham fan, Douglas Charlton’s birthday yeserday, so I’ve been exceedingly good, and created a post specifically for them.  I’ll try to do this for any birthdays of readers that I know.  Unfortunately, whether I actually do it, depends entirely on my mood.  Today, good, therefore nice lad, here’s a treat.  Tomorrow, raging sociopath, probably not going to happen… You catch my drift?

Love from Rahul Dravid

Love from Rahul Dravid

A big Happy Birthday to you both.



The England Lions replaced by replicants.

Robert Key, was yesterday replaced by an evil replicant.  Unfortunately for those that made the trip to The Rose Bowl, Hampshireshire, the evil replicant was no match for the real super Rob, as it failed to get the ball off the square all morning.  The real robert sir robert, would have flayed them to all parts, whilst laughing maniacally!  HA HAA, BRING ME MORE PIES!  He might have said.

For a look at the real reasons for his dismissals, have a look at Kingy Cricketings here..

Michael Carberry also seems to have been replaced, with a lesser version of himself.  But seriously, who cares?  Not me, that’s who, and as I am all-powerful leader of the republic, I have a lot of say around these parts!

The Lions crawled, and when I say crawled, I don’t mean baby speed crawling, I mean bloke with broken leg, dragging himself down a fucking mountain, after nearly dying, crawling, to 48-0 at Lunch.

In the next session, they lost 5-40, and appeared to be on their way to a miserable little total, until Luke Wright decided to get medieval on their arses!

Yes, the little fella went batshit and scored 120 at a strike rate of 91, to put them up to a decent 280.

Hopefully, we’ll see the real Rob Key back today, directing the troops in the only way he knows.  MAGNIFICENTLY!!



Rob Key reacts to captaincy of England Lions
April 30, 2008, 11:42 am
Filed under: Cricket, LOLCricket | Tags: , , , , ,

Surprise Buttsecks!!



The county season is almost upon us.

You could not have picked four uglier cricketers for this photo!

The opening fixture to the county championship starts on Thursday, with last seasons champions Sussex facing an MCC XI.

I’m going to have a sneaky half day on Friday, to join the masses down at Lords. By masses, I mean saddos, statisticians and MCC members out for a few days on the booze.

Hopefully I’ll be able to see my favourite young buck Adil Rashid in action. If Mushy is back from the Evil ICL, he would do well to pick the brains of the little master, while he has the chance.

I will try to update from the ground, IF my new battery arrives for my phone.

Really, the only reason I wrote this post, was so that I could post the picture of the cup winners from last year.

It’s got Rob Key in it. He’s lovely.



For Dearest King Cricket
December 19, 2007, 8:36 am
Filed under: Cricket, LOLCricket | Tags: , ,

Pleaze to have fud, I iz hungry, I iz sad?!