Suave's Republique Cricket


De Nederlanders slaan de Engelsen
Where's Dirty Dirk?!

De Nederlanders celebrate a famous victory over The England.

What the fuck happened there?!

Destiny, my friends, that’s what.

After mastering total football in the 70’s under Johan Cruyff, de Nederlanders have now decided to do the same in 20/20 cricket.

Watch out boys and girls, they were unstoppable  (except by Ze Germans) at football during that time, and are bound to do the same to all and sundry in this 20/20 World Cup (luckily Ze Germans are not here).  Never before has there been such a sublime display of a cricket, from a side wearing oranje.

Dirty Dirk bowled well, without any real penetration.

It was left to a couple of old blacksmiths to cause the damage.  Darron Reekers who started off in big bludgeoning style, followed up by Tom De Grooth, who smashed The England all over Lords.   Jrod loved it so much he almost threw up!

My man Ryan Ten Doeschate even got in on the act, a cracking allround display, with a red inker and taking the wickets of Ravi Bopara & Luke Wright.

The England have two young stars at the top of their order, and the rest are a bunch of cunts.   Even Rob Key, the fat knacker.

The bowling, beyond the opening pair was shithouse.   Rashid looked good against the West Indies, but was goes for too many runs.  He reminds me of Stuart MacGill, long hops, full tosses and the odd unplayable delivery.  No fucking good at 20/20, I’m afraid (and surely the fact that he doesn’t get in Yorkshire’s side, should have given them some idea, no?).

Stuart Broad couldn’t hit six stumps, the useless Ricky Schroder lookalike fucktrog.

I’m happy to lose to the Dutch though, because it might make this bunch of fuckfaced De Engelsen players actually learn to play proper 20/20 cricket.   Hardly any of them actually play it,  they’re learning the game in T20i’s.

Here’s to getting spanked by Pakistan on Sunday, and being out of the competition within 3 days!  Good times, my friends!



What O Children. Suave’s easing his way back in!

I’m still job hunting.  Although technically I haven’t done any for a week now.

I was in Germany last week, living the rock and roll lifestyle.  Sharing Jack Daniels from a bottle with Jim James, the lead singer of the finest live band in the world (My Morning Jacket), explaining the similarities and differences of baseball and cricket to the ryhthm section, Patrick and Two Tone Tommy.

When it was all over, I was happy to be going home.  Three days of travelling, drinking, and rocking had taken its toll, and Suave wanted to be at home with The Gris.

A little update on the Cricket now…

Super Smasher

Super Smasher

Graham Napier is my new hero.  Not only did he smash the highest score in 20/20 cricket in The England against Sussex two weeks ago, his batting since then has been full blooded to say the least.  He smashed Yorkshire around like the little boys they are, to reach the FP trophy final at Lords, and then chose to inflict pain on Northants last night too.  Not only that, but as an all-rounder he then took 4-10 in four overs to really butt-fuck the saffers.  Essex have now made it to the finals day in 20/20 at The Rose Bowl too.  Top work young fella my lads

If this lad isn’t picked in the squad for the Stanford Millionaires game, something is seriously wrong.

Yorkshire might be out of the 20/20 competition too, after forgetting to register an Academy player, who has a Pakistani passport.  He did captain The England under 15’s whilst holiding a Pakistani passport, so it seems strange that the ECB will punish Yorkshire for playing him, while he captained The England whilst a Pakistani Citizen?!

Bad week all-round for the Tykes, and my sympathies go out to Len, my favourite Yorkshire man.

Check back tomorrow for a full preview of The England vs The Saffers test series.   Real hard-hitting journalism, or as I like to say.  Shit.  but it’ll be funny shit, about what I’d like every The England/Saffer player to do for me, if they had to spend eternity by my side.

Until then, as Len would say.  Si’thee later.