Suave's Republique Cricket

De Nederlanders slaan de Engelsen
Where's Dirty Dirk?!

De Nederlanders celebrate a famous victory over The England.

What the fuck happened there?!

Destiny, my friends, that’s what.

After mastering total football in the 70’s under Johan Cruyff, de Nederlanders have now decided to do the same in 20/20 cricket.

Watch out boys and girls, they were unstoppable  (except by Ze Germans) at football during that time, and are bound to do the same to all and sundry in this 20/20 World Cup (luckily Ze Germans are not here).  Never before has there been such a sublime display of a cricket, from a side wearing oranje.

Dirty Dirk bowled well, without any real penetration.

It was left to a couple of old blacksmiths to cause the damage.  Darron Reekers who started off in big bludgeoning style, followed up by Tom De Grooth, who smashed The England all over Lords.   Jrod loved it so much he almost threw up!

My man Ryan Ten Doeschate even got in on the act, a cracking allround display, with a red inker and taking the wickets of Ravi Bopara & Luke Wright.

The England have two young stars at the top of their order, and the rest are a bunch of cunts.   Even Rob Key, the fat knacker.

The bowling, beyond the opening pair was shithouse.   Rashid looked good against the West Indies, but was goes for too many runs.  He reminds me of Stuart MacGill, long hops, full tosses and the odd unplayable delivery.  No fucking good at 20/20, I’m afraid (and surely the fact that he doesn’t get in Yorkshire’s side, should have given them some idea, no?).

Stuart Broad couldn’t hit six stumps, the useless Ricky Schroder lookalike fucktrog.

I’m happy to lose to the Dutch though, because it might make this bunch of fuckfaced De Engelsen players actually learn to play proper 20/20 cricket.   Hardly any of them actually play it,  they’re learning the game in T20i’s.

Here’s to getting spanked by Pakistan on Sunday, and being out of the competition within 3 days!  Good times, my friends!

Cricket With Balls, the book.
May 21, 2009, 3:35 am
Filed under: Cricket | Tags: , , , ,

It's a book of stuff you've already seen!!

J Rod is whoring his book.  As I love him, I am going to whore for him too.

The Year Of The Balls 2008: a cricket disrespective.   When you get paid, rush over there, buy as many as you can afford, then burn them all.   He’s a fucking devil that fella, and we won’t have his sort round here.

I’ve read it, it’s good.  I’m in it somewhere, which was also good.

It’s time for the weekly quiz of wonderment!

That time again children.

Last weeks winner was Jrod @ Cricket With Balls, for successfully guessing Ray Lindwall.

This weeks, is as follows.

Former leggy.  Cockroach with bad back.

Good luck ladies and gentlemen.

I’m all intarweb fancy!

Guys and Gals,

You can now access the old suave banana republic, in more than one way..


I’ve gone all internet fancy, and bought myself a domain name! Ooh get me..

In other news, David Barry, statistics whizz and allround good egg has won yesterdays six word cricket quiz

Check back later, to see his amazing prize! (this is in no way, me stalling for time, winging it until I get a moment of inspiration, no siree! How very dare you question my integrity, you oiks and ne’er do wells!)

J Rod, the ‘Strayan cricket blogging behemoth has worked his magic, and got Future PM David Hussey into office, well the ODI side, but it’s a start. Unfortunately, he must have drained himself with the powers, as he was unable to get Nice Bryce into the travelling party.

Instead the picked the nicely named, Beau Casson. Sounds like something from 50’s American teen movie.

“Mama, i’d like you to meet my beau, casson.”

“get him out of ma house, young lady, we don’t have them stupidly named NSWelshmen in here.”

Or something like that.

I belive in Sehwagology (cricket with balls tm)

I saw this quote from Lord Snooty, Saurav Ganguly about the way Sehwag thinks when batting. It’s much the same as my thought process when batting, except he has talent and it comes off for him. Unlike me, who is constantly caught in the gully or at point, trying to smash bowlers out of the park.

Four years ago, Wisden Asia Cricket magazine ran a cover story on India’s “Fab Five” – Sachin Tendulkar, Rahul Dravid, VVS Laxman, Sourav Ganguly and Sehwag. The feature had interviews with the five players, with each talking about one of the others. Ganguly made a fascinating revelation about Sehwag. “The best way to know how [Sehwag’s] mind works is to sit next to him in the players’ balcony when India are batting. Every few minutes he will clutch his head and yell, ‘Chauka gaya’ [missed out on a four] or ‘Chakka gaya’ … That’s how he thinks, in fours and sixes.”

That’s genius.

Miss-Field and the Kolkata Knight Riders
March 18, 2008, 2:16 pm
Filed under: Misdirection | Tags: , ,

Miss-Field has written a nice post on the name of Shah Rukh Khan’s cricket team,

You can find it here…

Jrod asked where the hoff jokes were, well he’s back in 2003 playing a match winning innings for the ‘strayans..

The hoff, in “I’m great at cricket” shocker