Suave's Republique Cricket


HA HA HA HA HA!
July 21, 2009, 1:47 pm
Filed under: Cricket | Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Photography comic genius!

I don’t think anything else needs to be said here, does it?

Ricky Ponting FAIL!



Drainage Fail

Bloody Northerners, can't get 'owt right!

Play is abandoned for the day after heavy rain this morning..

That my friends is fucking wank.

Yorkshire CCCCCCC have spent £600,000 on a drainage system, that after 3hrs of sunshine didn’t work well enough to allow any play today.

I’ll tell you why this is shit.

Lords, 2007, The England v India.

I went to this match, I can’t recall which day mind, but I remember everything else vividly.

I alighted the tube at Regents Park and started walking across the park in the direction of the home of cricket.

Halfway across the park, it started raining.  Luckily I had waterproofs and an umbrella with me.  I quickly ducked under a tree for cover, and put my waterproofs on (these are mountainy-goretexy, top of the rangy shizzle), and carried on.  By the time I’d got to the other side of Regents Park, my golfing umbrella had snapped through the sheer volume of rain that fell.   No wind, just pure volume of water broke the spokes, and the umbrella was fucked.

I pulled my hat out of my bag, pulled the hood of my waterproofs off, and continued towards Lords.

It’s no more than a 1mile walk from Regents Park to Lords, and in that time, the rain was so torrential, that there were three foot deep puddles on St John’s Wood Road.  Cars were struggling to get through, because of the depth of the puddles.  The drainage system was overflowing, to such an extent that people were starting to fear for their houses.

It was fucking terrible, monsoon like.   As I got to the gates, I was completely and utterly soaked.  Not 1cm of my body was not completely drenched.  And I was properly attired.

I went to the pub to wait for the rain to stop, as there was no chance of getting a taxi, and the pub was dry.  It rained for just over an hour, and everyone in the pub agreed, that there would be no chance of play…

I ventured into the rain, and managed to get a cab driver to take me home, so I could change.

That whole process took no more than an hour and a half.   By this time the sun was out, but I didn’t hold much hope for any play, so switched on the box to get the latest updates.

What happened next left me completely fucking flabbergasted.   Just after lunch, play had started, and I’d only been gone an 1.5hrs….

The drainage was so good, that with just over 2hrs of sunshine, play was able to commence.

Fuck you Yorkshire CCC, and the horse you rode in on.  That’s how drainage should work, not your £600,000 fuck up.

The moral of the story?  Never trust northerners, the workshy bastards!!



Fail
Cricket Fail!

Hook Shot Fail!

Recent man of the series Ravi Bopara has become a media darling of late.  Just so he doesn’t get too big for his boots, and because I’ve missed LOLCricketz, here’s some lovely stuff for you kiddywinks.

Ravenous Ravi can't wait for lunch!

Ravenous Ravi can't wait for lunch!



Wrong ‘Un Fail
Merde

Merde

Here’s auld Fubsy not picking the wrong ‘un, and being done through the gate.  Oops.

Maybe he’s still affected by what Insane McGain said to him just recently..



Dirty ECB Fuckers
September 27, 2008, 6:53 pm
Filed under: Cricket | Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

This is going to be short, very short.

I’m pissed and angry and Strictly Come Dancing is about to start.

Geoff Miller has dropped Michael Vaughan from the India winter tour.  Fucking right you might say….  Me too.

Then why has the fucker been given a central contract?  He won’t play this winter, so it should have gone to someone more deserving.

Fucking Stupid.

More to come shortly on Ceci’s county Durham, who today re-wrote the championship records.

Love you all.

Suave



Recycled post. I seem to have to recycle this every test series!

Twat

Fuck me, not again Vaughany, you retard.

He looks good when missing the ball, at least. No ugly hoicks across the line for this fella, no siree.

JUST PLEASE STOP MISSING STRAIGHT ONES YOU FUCKTARD!!



Food Fail
Apple Fail!

Apple Fail!

Mickey Arthur in “I can’t tell the difference between a practice ball and an apple” shocker!

You fail.