Filed under: Cricket | Tags: Ashes, Ashes 2009, australia, county cricket, Cricket, England, James Tredwell, Jimmy Adams, Jon Lewis, middlesex, Mike Hussey, Phil Hughes, Philip Hughes, The England
Please stop the wankfest over Hughes’ county stint please.
Most of the runs he scored were in the County Championship 2nd division. This is a division where the leading wicket takers are Jon Lewis & James Tredwell.
Those old fuckers weren’t even good enough to hold down a spot in The England’s ODI side, and they’re proper fucking pony.
So can we stop with the cock sucking please. He smashed around a load of has-beens and never will be’s.
I’m not saying that the fella hasn’t got talent. He has. He’s averaging 69 in both test and FC cricket. Not bad, I think you’ll agree..
What I will say, is that Jimmy Adams averaged 87 after 12 tests, and Mike Hussey averaged 80 at the start of 2008 and is now averaging 55 (to be fair that’s still higher than any current The England batsman).
If, after the ashes he’s still averaging high 60’s, then fairly do’s, lick the boy’s testicles all you like. Allow him to roger you roughly with bananas from his daddy’s farm, but let’s not get stupid, eh…
Now fuck off.
Being a Suave fellow, I’m horrified, I say horrified at what I’ve just seen on Sky Sports News.
I know Phil Hughes is young, but there’s never an excuse to be wearing an ill fitting suit, with a shirt that has seventies style collars opened wide, to expose the chest hair. That and the two diamond earrings, have sent my Suave sensibilities absolutely bandy..
Fucking hell, can’t someone teach the little bogan banana farmer to dress properly!
Filed under: Cricket | Tags: county cricket, durham, hampshire, King Cricket, Mark Davies
It’s good to see Durham are still playing on uncovered pitches oop north.
We’re only half way through day two and 20 wickets have fallen for 250 runs.
Is it any wonder Lord Bobert Of Key got so pissed off with the pitch inspectors recently. This being after their championship game lasted three days.
Now, I’ve never played on that wicket but it does look like a medium pacers paradise. Hampshire bowler Dangeranus took 5/45, then super Mark Davies took a superb 8/24 for Durham.
I’m not sure what’s wrong with the lad, there must be something, he’s taken 209 FC wickets @ 21.57 excluding this match, (Fucking hell, how good is that? That’s a rhetorical question by the way) yet he’s constantly ignored by selectors.
Does he stink of rancid shit?
Does he have a penchant for small children?
Is he secretly an alien?
Is he really a viking warrior?
How the fuck would I know, I’m in a stupid godforsaken country that’s proud to be associated with the worst vegetable in the world!
Filed under: Cricket | Tags: 20/20, county cricket, Cricket, durham, IPL, Jim laker, lancashire, Matthew Hayden, old trafford, orphan eating bear like fuckhead, Seam, Somerset, Spin, Swing, The Oval
Recently I was moaning about 20/20, and the fact that it can make ordinary players look good.
My reasonining, is that the pitches have all been made flat as pancakes, and thre is little to offer for the bowlers. No real spin, swing or seam. This allows bludgeoners to look good, as they can just smash through the line of the ball. They had one pitch that turned square and seamed, and all of the players called it a joke. Wankers. Can you honestly imagine someone like “The Bearlike, Orphan Eating, Fuckhead“, playing Jim Laker on an uncovered Old Trafford or The Oval? THat fucker wouldn’t average any where near as much as he does now.
In county cricket yesterday, five matches were played, and 64 wickets were taken.
It was a glorious day, all over The ENgland. The sun was shining, the weather was sweet, boy, makes me want to move, those dancing feet, to the rescue, here I am!
What the batsman failed to take into account, was that most pitches had enough juice in them, to make it very difficult. Too many players were undone, by seam and swing. On pitches like ours in The England, you need to expect it to move off the pitch and through the air!
Unfortunately, it seems that batsman have missed out on this playing straight, or playing late lark, and are being constantly exposed.
In Lancashire’s innings yesterday, they were all out for 143, on a pitch that wasn’t that bad. All 10 wickets were catches. You’d think that the Durham players would have had a look at the way the Lancs batsman played, and adjusted accordingly. Alas no, they were fuckwits too, being bowled out for a miserable 114.
Somerset were similarly shit yesterday.
If the ball swings, seams or spins, most international players look ordinary. Bring back juicy pitches, and make the fuckers learn to play properly!
Filed under: Cricket | Tags: county cricket, Cricket, hampshire, james tomlinson, john crawley, Kevin Pietersen, Somerset
Somerset’s county ground, Taunton is usually the flattest, easiest batting wicket in the whole of county cricket (although Chelmsford isn’t far behind).
Something weird has happened though, in 40 overs of cricket, 12 wickets have fallen.
Somerset were all out for 126, with James Tomlinson (who he?), taking 8-46. Somerset hit back with two wickets in the first two overs, to leave Hampshire at a pretty precarious 6-2. John Crawley & KP need to look to steady that ship now.
The sad thing about this, is that Somerset will most likely be punished for providing a below standard pitch. In fact, I think they should be punished for all the flat ones they produce.
Filed under: Cricket, Fail, FailCricket, LOLCricket | Tags: Andrew Flintoff, county cricket, Cricket, Fail, fail pictures, failboat, FailCricket, lancashire, Scotland
Is Andrew Flintoff a batting all-rounder?
Recent form would suggest not.
Filed under: Cricket | Tags: county cricket, Cricket, England, Essex, Essex CCC, IPL, New Zealand, Ravi Bopara, Ryan Ten Doeschate, The England
Ravi Bopara, Essex all-rounder.
THis boy is the shizzle this season, he’s scored 341 runs in three County Championship innings and also tops his team’s bowling averages.
Him and my man, Ten Doeschate (took a 6-fer against the kiwi’s) are both looking superb down at the county ground.
Ravi has admitted that he turned down a six figure sum from the IPL, to concentrate on getting back into THE ENgland setup.
That is good.
That is nice.
Ravi is my friend again.
Ravi had this to say..
“If I do this, and with the current talk of new competitions and one-off matches to sit alongside the IPL, then I am sure there will be plenty of opportunities to enjoy the financial benefits in years to come,”
23 years old, and the little fella’s got a wise head on his shoulders!
This makes me happy. More updates, when the fugue of four days drinking lifts from my sorry head.