Suave's Republique Cricket

Symonds in “I’m still a drunken fuckwit” shocker
June 4, 2009, 11:53 am
Filed under: Cricket | Tags: , , , ,

Stupid fucktard

According to cackinfo,  Andrew Symonds has been sent home again, for more alcohol fuelled shenanigans.

Now this shouldn’t come as a surprise to many, because he is a Brummy, and they’re all piss soaked tramps.  That and the fact that he was brought up in ‘Straya, the home of fucking god awful weak lager.

Whenever he comes here, he drinks the same amount, and forgets that our beer is about fourteen times stronger. They don’t call it tanglefoot for now’t, you know.

This has got to be the last time he ever gets to pull on an Aussie jersey, hasn’t it?  This must be number 6002 in his sozzled history, and surely that’s enough for any one predator.

Will this weaken the ‘Strayan 20/20 side?  I’d say yes, he averages 48 with the bat and 34 with the ball in T20i’s, them’s shit hot numbers.

What I’m trying to say is…


Australia are now officially shit again, and we can all laugh out loud at them.

13 Comments so far
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and I hope Freddie trips over his big mouth again in a drunken stupor and impales himself on the shards of his broken glass

Comment by rusty

Me too. The England are a better 20/20 team without him. To be fair, we’re probably a better test side nowadays without him. So as long as he’s back for the next ODI series, that’s grand with me!

Comment by Suave

“Now this shouldn’t come as a surprise to many, because he is a Brummy, and they’re all piss soaked tramps.”

Clearly no one has explained this well-known fact to Cricket Australia.

Comment by Dave

If they’d only have phoned Symonds parents prior to the tour, it could have been brushed over.

Comment by Suave

I’ve always laughted out loud at the Aussies – that is what life is for.

Comment by SixSixEight

you’re laughing on the other side of your face now, aren’t you!

Comment by rusty

I’ve always laughed out loud at the Aussies – that is what life is for.

Comment by SixSixEight

Are you repeating that, so we can all make it our mantra. If so, I am now following you blindly, oh neighbour of the beast.

Comment by Suave


The England vs The Netherlands?

Who is shit?


Comment by Mentalist

It is fucking funny. I don’t mind losing to the dutch, the dutch are cool..

“A schmoke und a pancake. You know, a flapjack und a shigarette? No? Shigar und a waffle? No? Pipe und a crepe? No? Bong und a blintz? No? Well, then there ish no pleeeeeashing you”

Comment by Suave

yeah, sure you don’t mind! pussycat.

Comment by rusty

Ha ha, you’re going to be out too..Still got chuckles galore Rusty boy…

Or is it that these two sides are more interested in the wee urn?

Comment by Suave

Considering Der Ozzies got depantsed, spanked, bent-over, sodomized and generally given cricket’s version of an enema cum colonoscopy, and since their four best T20 players (Gilly, Gambler and The Cannibal) are retired, and/or banished (The man who couldn’t get the bastard-monkey of alcohol off his back), here’s a friendly piece of advice. Hold your fire Ozzie fans, and cross your legs. It may not help with the enema, the spanking or the arse-pillage, but at least you won’t be blamed for not trying.

Comment by horatius

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