Suave's Republique Cricket

Drainage Fail

Bloody Northerners, can't get 'owt right!

Play is abandoned for the day after heavy rain this morning..

That my friends is fucking wank.

Yorkshire CCCCCCC have spent £600,000 on a drainage system, that after 3hrs of sunshine didn’t work well enough to allow any play today.

I’ll tell you why this is shit.

Lords, 2007, The England v India.

I went to this match, I can’t recall which day mind, but I remember everything else vividly.

I alighted the tube at Regents Park and started walking across the park in the direction of the home of cricket.

Halfway across the park, it started raining.  Luckily I had waterproofs and an umbrella with me.  I quickly ducked under a tree for cover, and put my waterproofs on (these are mountainy-goretexy, top of the rangy shizzle), and carried on.  By the time I’d got to the other side of Regents Park, my golfing umbrella had snapped through the sheer volume of rain that fell.   No wind, just pure volume of water broke the spokes, and the umbrella was fucked.

I pulled my hat out of my bag, pulled the hood of my waterproofs off, and continued towards Lords.

It’s no more than a 1mile walk from Regents Park to Lords, and in that time, the rain was so torrential, that there were three foot deep puddles on St John’s Wood Road.  Cars were struggling to get through, because of the depth of the puddles.  The drainage system was overflowing, to such an extent that people were starting to fear for their houses.

It was fucking terrible, monsoon like.   As I got to the gates, I was completely and utterly soaked.  Not 1cm of my body was not completely drenched.  And I was properly attired.

I went to the pub to wait for the rain to stop, as there was no chance of getting a taxi, and the pub was dry.  It rained for just over an hour, and everyone in the pub agreed, that there would be no chance of play…

I ventured into the rain, and managed to get a cab driver to take me home, so I could change.

That whole process took no more than an hour and a half.   By this time the sun was out, but I didn’t hold much hope for any play, so switched on the box to get the latest updates.

What happened next left me completely fucking flabbergasted.   Just after lunch, play had started, and I’d only been gone an 1.5hrs….

The drainage was so good, that with just over 2hrs of sunshine, play was able to commence.

Fuck you Yorkshire CCC, and the horse you rode in on.  That’s how drainage should work, not your £600,000 fuck up.

The moral of the story?  Never trust northerners, the workshy bastards!!

4 Comments so far
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Counties have limited say when international fixtures are allocated to them; they just gratefully accept the chance to make some extra money.

The reason the ground didn’t drain well was that the work is still incomplete, with the outfield turf still not bedded in sufficiently to allow the verti-drainage holes to be cut. In short, Yorkshire are at the point where they have the new laptop sitting in front of them, but haven’t got a power source to actually use it. The ECB knew this would be the situation when they allocated the fixture to us in May – although they may well try and deny that now.

The trouble the Headingley outfield had on Thursday was not unique this season either. Similar problems occurred on the second day of our championship game against Worcestershire when the weather was fine but play delayed for several hours due to drainage issues on the edge of the covered square. ECB pitch inspectors where present at this and several other games at Headingley this year, and yet afterwards still green lit the first ODI to go ahead in Leeds.

The moral of the story? Never trust the ECB to reverse a decision, even when they know they’ve fucked up.

As for work-shy northerners; you still ‘working’ from the pub today?

Comment by lentheyorkshirekitman

Nice retort duck…

Surprisingly not, Len, but it’s Friday.

Comment by Suave

Incidentally, I’m not exonerating YCCC from all this. The claim that the outfield is now 100% better than last season is bollocks, and rain sodden bollocks at that. And when early spring weather held up the relaying of the pitch they should have been flagging that up as an issue like crazy. But counties want international games; the money makes such a difference to the coffers. The ECB should understand that and be able to spot problems like this a mile off. This match should have never been scheduled for Headingley.

Comment by lentheyorkshirekitman

That’s a fair point.

It should have been moved, you’re right. April is far too late in the year to be laying your new turf. Your 1st match had grass long enough for tigers, if I recall correctly.

Comment by Suave

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