Suave's Republique Cricket

Happy ‘Straya Day!
January 26, 2009, 10:06 am
Filed under: Cricket | Tags: , , , , , , ,
You're shit and you know you are etc...

You're shit and you know you are etc...

This hasn’t been the best start to a summer for ‘Straya, has it boys and girls?

Beaten in India, beaten in the test series by South Africa, and now beaten in a home ODI series by the Saffers again (they haven’t won the major home ODI series for three years now!) .

This my friends is fucking fantastic.  The rest of the world are pointing at you, and laughing like Nelson.

This is how us mere mortals feel most of the time.

So where did it all go wrong?

To be honest every where.  The commentators on Channel 9, were discussing the Allan Border Medal, which is coming up soon, and were trying to think who could win the medal.

Michael Clarke and Mitchell Johnson were the only two names they could come up.  How often does that happen, when the most biased commentary team in world cricket, struggles to think of more than two players to win the awards.

They’ve got no spinner.  They’ve only got one quality quick, with a couple of emerging ones.  The top order has been terrible in both forms of the game.

If I was a selector, I’d have Ricky Ponting back to the ranks and pick someone who can actually captain a side, without having to have a management conference every three balls.

Not sure where I’m going with this, but it’s Monday morning and I’ve been up since 4.30am.


16 Comments so far
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Yep, its fantastic isn’t it. They look like England at the moment.

Comment by Rob

Rob, they’re not even that good. We spanked the South Africans 4-0 in the ODI series.

Comment by Suave

I know there are still another 12+ hours til midnight but my highlight for today has to be hearing Bill Lawry choking over his congrats for the Saffas towards the end of today’s match. Commentary gold!

Comment by SarahCanterbury

It was magic. Ian Healy is actually a fair loser, but you know that Bill’s getting grief in the ear constantly from Pervert Tony Greig. That makes it all seem so much nicer!

Comment by Suave

AHAHAHAHAHA, I can’t stop laughing. They’re shit at everything but T-20s… you know the one thing they said depends on how lucky you are on the day.
Btw, who’s the quality quick? Surely not the guy that went none for 63 today… When they struggle he looks awfully ineffective. I still don’t have him in the top 5 fast bowlers going in the world right now.

Comment by achettup

Fairly do’s. But Mitchell Johnson looks very good in test matches, so far.

Comment by Suave

[…] 26, 2009 by A P Webster Following the series loss to South Africa (on Australia Day, of all days), Australia have now lost their major home One Day International series for three […]

Pingback by Australia’s ODI crown slips «

So there are quite a lot of people that like to see Australia lose. Ah! how i hate those dead rubbers!!!

Comment by Twelfth Man

good call on the captaincy…ponting needs to be sacked for a proper leader. and the channel 9 commentary team are bloody hilarious…glad i didn’t go to the game and got to enjoy that tosser healy shit himself.

Comment by Sunny

And so much the superior australian system and awesome bench strength. David Hussey and Cameron White are pure Victorian garbage. And since Cameron White is in the team purely for his batting and stunning good looks, the selectors are sending a priceless message to all the state batsmen: doesn’t matter how many runs you make, we will always pick a shite “allrounder” over a proper batsman. And how bad is hauritz? Even Jean Paul is a better spinner.

Comment by Sunny

Uncle J has resigned himself to the fact that Straya are shit at home ODIs. How long before the humiliation tour reaches all cricket playing nations?

Quick. This is the time to have a couple of tours with Zimby and the Toygers. Before Shakib gets too good with the ball.

Comment by horatius



Comment by Moses @ Beerandsport


All I can say is… 51

Comment by beerandsport

Have a laugh at this:

Then tell me about your trophy cabinet.

Don’t cry too hard, your pink hanky will run.

Comment by Mentalist

Australia are looking pretty decent in South Africa though!

Top site by the way, if you could email me when you get the chance – that would be great.



Comment by Thomas Rooney

Howzit, Suave – not been around for a while; been as sick as a parrot and, unfortunately, did not die.

Don’t be too hard on poor ole Ricky – after all, he’s short, dark and handsome which are the main criteria for any cricketing team captaincy.

Anyway, Oz beat the crap outta RSA in the first two tests in recent weeks here in Souf Afrik. It all went wrong now in the third test when God ignored the Aussie’s prayers to keep pre-schooler Smith as the ever-apologetic captain of the Proteas instead of giving the job to someone who is actually capable of doing it – in this case Kallis. In the absence of Hansie Cronje the RSA selectors should recall Pollack – at the point of a gun, if need be; the man had no right to retire in the hour of his country’s greatest need.

Don’t the Proteas look like total tits in their new gear. That line of piping up their legs anf going around their bums makes them all look like unfrocked ballerinas – except in the case of the vertically-challenged JP Duminy with his big arse and who now looks like one of Snow White’s suspicious companions.

If you do make it to South Africa for the England tour you must let me know – I’ll buy you a beer or seven and swap lies with you.


Comment by Spearpoint

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