Suave's Republique Cricket

Monty Panesar in “I can bowl, honest” Shocker.
December 18, 2008, 12:45 pm
Filed under: Cricket | Tags: , , , ,
I used to be a spinner you know!  30yrs man and boy..

I used to be a spinner you know! 30yrs man and boy..

Our Indian Correspondant Jamish Singh Dorma, recently caught up with Monty Panesar to discuss the recent pressure he’s been getting from the press..

JSD: Monty, why are you a shithouse, useless fuckduck when it comes to bowling in the fourth innings?

MP: It is unfair to say I have a problem bowling teams out in the fourth innings, yes I was unable to make an impact on the last day in Chennai and I was very disappointed with myself, but to me that is the first time it was happened and I was up against a true masterclass from one of the greatest batsmen who has ever lived in Sachin Tendulkar.

People talk about me being unable to dismiss South Africa at Edgbaston last summer but remember I should have had Graeme Smith given out on that final day.

I have taken wickets in the last innings at Old Trafford and Durham and in New Zealand.

JSD: But you average over 35 in the fourth innings, compared with a career average of 32.  Something’s not happening in the last innings.   Are you a piss weak pansie?

MP: No, I’m not a bloody South African you know!  Look at the majority of spinners who have taken Test wickets and you will see that they acquire their full range of skills when they are older than me. I’m convinced spinners don’t peak until they are around 30.”

JSD: So why don’t you fuck off until you are 30?  Surely that makes sense?!

At this point, Panesar ran off crying, screaming out “Vaughany, Vaughany, I miss you so!”

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[…] 10, 2009 by A P Webster Monty Panesar has not been included in England’s 13-man squad for the Second Test against the West Indies […]

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