Suave's Republique Cricket

Join us, and we shall take over the world!
December 18, 2008, 12:57 pm
Filed under: Cricket, Misdirection | Tags: , , ,

You will worship his slashing blade!

Church Sign Generator

Thou Shalt Stand & Deliver

49 Comments so far
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Fuck me that is brilliant.

Comment by Miss Field

I rather liked it too!!

Church Sign Generator
is the bomb!

Comment by Suave

Very nice.

Comment by Ne

The things people think of. I’d marvel at the wonders of the internet but don’t want to sound 70.

Comment by Miss Field

It is a wondrous place this there intarwebby.

Comment by Suave

This is literally the best thing on earth.

Comment by miriam

Mims, I’m so happy you approve.

Let us convert the many, merrily!!!

Comment by Suave

Though, upon reflection, I think it should say “Let us worship Virender Sehwag”

Comment by Miss Field

this is fucking ingenious!!!!

Comment by V

You are truly one of us, my child!

Comment by Suave

agressive convertion attempts, brilliant the holy one would approve of such intent

Comment by Narkins

It’s the only way forward to be honest.

Sehwagology fascism is the new black!

Comment by Suave

Now Suavey and UncleJ will bare-knuckle fight to the death to be appointed the High Preist of Sehwagology. Let the games begin.


Comment by horatius

No fighting betwixt us two…

I will gladly be the second in command.

In the same way Dick Cheney is second in command of the United States of America (only for a few more days though)!

Comment by Suave

How about working on them commandments while you are busy converting?

How about starting with

Thou shalt not commiteth the sin of leaving a ball wide outside the off stump. Thou shalt, with alacrity, dispatcheth it, high over backward point.

Comment by horatius

Fella, that’s top draw. I love the word alacrity!

That’s one of the commandments, definitely.

Comment by Suave

My Office-mate contributes this,

Thou shalt, when withing striking distance of a landmark, dispatcheth the ball over the Long On boundary with gay abandon.

Note :- The Church of Sehwagology doesn’t discriminate against gays.

Comment by horatius

Bloody hell, where the fuck is Jrod already ?

Comment by DamithS

Horatius, you’re office mate is a believer. We welcome him to the church.

The only people we discriminate against, are Matthew Hayden lovers. They shall be burnt at the stake, like the witches they are!

If he doesn’t hurry up Damith, I will have to seize power of The Church of Sehwagology!

Comment by Suave

I shall use this ingenious tool to craft something for one of God Sehwags closest disciples in Splendid Mendis. Some say he is Gods son himself. We believe them.

Comment by DamithS

He is one of the prophets, is our Splendid Mendis!

Comment by Suave

Add this at the backend of whatever list of commandments we finalize.

Whosoever violateth these commandments shall incur the hulk-smashing hand of the gap-toothed one.

Comment by horatius


We need a holy trinity. We have Sehwag, Mendis and shall I suggest The Lord Megachief of Gold to round up our trio? I am sure the High Priest of Sehwagology UncleJ would approve.

Comment by horatius

Horatius, you’ve done very well my child. You will soon be ordained in the church, and I will personally see to it, that your rise to the upper echelons of the Church of Sehwagology is a swift one!

Comment by Suave

Suave, too true my friend.

God Sehwag said, go forth my son, and deliver this world of useless spinners, and be rid of any batsmen who do not follow my hallowed words.

It is then that Splendid Mendis rose from the foot of the mythical Adams peak and went about destroying all batsmen who did not follow God Sehwags true commandments.

I cannot think of a more better suited man to round off the trio.

From henceforth they shall be known as the All Mighty Holy Trinity.

We have done some good work here today my lovelies.

Comment by DamithS

I almost shed a tear.

Good work number 2.

Comment by J Rod

It is a pleasure oh holy leader!

Here’s to the Almighty Holy Trinity!

Comment by Suave

Can we get a “Bible of Sehwagology” going where we can collect all these nuggets that might otherwise drown in the mighty ocean that is the internet?

Comment by horatius

I credit these achievements to the nectar of the Gods – beer. May that be to the Church of Sehwagology what wine is to other Churches.

Comment by horatius

Oooh this is superb!

I forsee the rest of the evening completely disappearing in a frenzy of churchsigngenerating…

Comment by Mel

Beer is the answer to everything!

Comment by Suave

Fucking excellent Suave, the second one especially. I think Benevolent Uncle Sanath has also been preaching the gospel for some time. Ha-haa!

Comment by Dave

“It was the evening of the 4th day when the Holy one sort out to prove his divinity to the unbelievers behind their 374 idols. Lord Sehwag fell upon the heretics and cast down their false idols of the English until lost their line and reason. Yet his holiness did not relent or show mercy and continued to depatch them to the boundary of hell.

And on the 5th day his holiness rested.”

indeed beer is indeed great πŸ˜€

Comment by Narkins

Beer is the answer to everything!

Hey that’s the first commandment in my gospel!

Oh, and I have a cunning plan… will email JRod about it…

Comment by Moses

Absolute brilliance!

Someone should really get Sehwag in on this…i’m sure he would promote it for free

Comment by Obi2

Blashpemey@ Beer. Virender Sehwag doesnt imbimbe beer. He consumes only milk.
Infact his name is an anagram of “Heard Never Swig”.

Comment by Dsylexic

Dyslexic, that may well be true, but he did whisper to me in my dreams that I should tell the followers to imbibe as much beer as they can!

Comment by Suave

Thanks brethren and sistren. You will truly be saved by Our Lord’s blade of truth!

Comment by Suave

Fans in the state of West Bengal in India call him ‘Birender Sehwag’ (Beer-ender) πŸ™‚

Btw, is there a test one needs to pass to join the CoS (Church of Sehwagology)?Or just plain expression of devotion will do?

“Thou Shall Not Use Unnecessary Footwork; Thou Shall Stand and Deliver”

Comment by Kumar


With your last statement, you have been indoctrinated into the Church Of Sehwagology!

Comment by Suave

I am honored, Holy Priest.

And I bring this to your attention.

Comment by Kumar

Kumar, they are infidels, we must burn them!

Comment by Suave

Forgive the infidels Suave, they cannot spell religion properly.

Comment by 12th Man

OK, let’s just flay them over backward point, and long on!

Comment by Suave


Long on is reserved for special occasions like say “the fastest friggin 300 in the history of cricket” or something like that. Or for some not so special occasions like when the entire team is fielding at deep point.

Comment by horatius

Good point.. All these bastards deserve is to be hoicked over midwicket.

Comment by Suave

i would like to play from your club

Comment by ephraim munshi

[…] seems to have deserted him, resulting in scenes like this more often than scenes like this. If the bloggers’ deity is to return to the old ways of recklessness, perhaps he will be proved mortal after all, and those […]

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