Suave's Republique Cricket


Help me raise £16 Million!
December 16, 2008, 12:21 pm
Filed under: Cricket | Tags: , ,

Vodafone have cancelled their sponsorship with The England, so the ECB need to find a new sponsor!

It’s estimated that the ECB will have lost £16m in sponsorship revenue, and I reckon the Suave’s Republique would fit nicely in the gap left..

I want my name emblazoned across the mighty chest of Freddie Flintoff!

I want to be able to nudge the selectors in the right direction, with regards to team selection.  Fuck off Harmy, Ta Ta Monty and DEATH TO JIMMY ANDERSON!

I want tickets to all test matches, and a free lunch whenever I go.

I want to invite my Republican Army to rampage through the Long Room, and take down the establishment from the inside.

I want to stick it to the man, then become the man, and then lose all of my morals, pride and ethics to become a big fat old bastard, drunk on fine wine and snoozing in the afternoon!

I think this is a worthy cause, and  I need to find a way of raising the £16, 000, 000 necessary to secure the deal!

Just imagine that for a minute or two!

I could then start to take over the world!  The rage is strong in this one.

If anyone has that sort of money tucked under their mattress and need a Suave figurehead to bring in the dough, then let me know kids!

UPDATE

If there’s any graphic designers out there that want to design the logo, feel free to do so at your leisure, and your cost!

Obviously, if you produce a winner, then you’ll automatically become a general in the republican army, which will bring you all you desire and more!


20 Comments so far
Leave a comment

£16 million to sponsor the English team?
Are you sure?
For £8 million am sure you could get the South African team and get Nel to hurl abuses for you.

And you’d have £8 million left to get drunk on very very good south african wine(and French as well parce que faut pas déconner quand même)!!

Comment by krishna

Krishna,

That’s not a bad idea, but I can’t abide South Africans..
If I got The ENgland gig, I would get fine wine wherever I went, and I could metaphorically kick James Anderson in the bollocks. Who wouldn’t want to do that (I bet even his hot wife wants to)!

Comment by Suave

hmm maybe you can ask Allan Stanford to help you then, am sure he’ll be interested.

Comment by krishna

I’d ask him, but he’d only want to paint everything black…

I want to keep cricket the same, but with me in charge!

Comment by Suave

Noble cause gap-toothed one!! But will my donation be tax-exempt?

Comment by horatius

I suppose you want something restrained – possibly using your blog banner for corporate recognition – and some subliminal message. Something like this?

http://tinyurl.com/suavesbanner

Comment by Ceci

Crikey, Ceci’s got this swearing thingy cracked!

Comment by SarahCanterbury

If it means seeing ‘death to Jimmy Anderson’ on the England kit, count me in!

Comment by Dave

Count me in for a 100 rupees good sir.

Loving the Banner Ceci, let me see if my mate can add some extra omph on to it.

Comment by damiths

Ceci, that is wonderful! Just the sort of thing I’d like to see on advertising boards in front of the pavillion at Lords!

Comment by Suave

Horatius, yes it will be tax free.. I’ll be setting up some offshore shenanigans to make me super rich!

Comment by Suave

A request to you Suave: Swear as much as you want in your posts, but make sure that the hyperlink of the post is named in such a way that it escapes our office filters.

Comment by 12th Man

I’ll do my best fella..

I often forget about that sort of thing, as the rage railway drives me along full steam ahead, what!

Comment by Suave

Beautiful! I’m in. It’d be humiliating for them to bear the name of an Australian female blogger, so if you can split the logo space with me, I’ll bank transfer you my eight mil now.

A footy team here raffled their major sponsorship to local businesses, and the local florist won. So the jerseys had ANGEL FLOWERS emblazoned on the back. Brilliant, eh.

Comment by Miss Field

I’m prepared to go 51-49.. I must be the majority share holder, so that I can kick Jimmy Anderson square in the bollocks, but other than that you’re on!

Comment by Suave

[…] a few pounds spare and want to help out the struggling ECB, head over to Suave’s Republique (not safe for work link) and contribute to his 14 million pound fund raising […]

Pingback by » Vodafone UK give England the arse

Here’s my shot at a logo for their shirts..

And here’s an ‘artists’ impressions of how it might look on an England cricketer. It will serve as a constant reminder of the consequences of non-performance. Perhaps the logo could grow as the players levels of shithouseness increase.

Comment by Moses

That is top fucking draw. Although it should be vive la république. I don’t want to seen ungrateful, but fuck it I am!

Comment by Suave

Howzat?

Comment by Moses

Absolutely bang on! Nice work our kid.

Comment by Suave




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