Suave's Republique Cricket

Chakh De India

As The Libertines once sang…. My word that was fun, and he did it with his hat on, and a saddle and a gun..

In this case, the saddle was the weight of responsibility on a little man from Mumbai, and the gun, was a massive chunk of willow, that dispatches bowlers with such elegance.
Sachin Tendulkar, we salute you!

It’s also for Sehwag, who reminds me of a cricket bat wielding autistic. He’s like Dustin Hoffman in Rain Man. I don’t think he has a clue what he’s doing, but smiles serenely and smashes. Oh Joy!

This was right up there with one of the greatest test matches you’re likely to see.. It had everything, resolute batting, fuck em all, I am a destroyer batting, let’s save my career for the umpteenth time batting, seam bowling masterclasses from one bowler per side, and much more…

A quick review of the individual Indian performances…

Virender Sehwag.   One failure, and one outrageous onslaught, god like genius.

Gautam Gambhir.  Looks like a world class opening batsman now, and a perfect foil to Viru.

Rahul Dravid.  Time to go auld fella, your stock is falling faster than the world financial markets…

Sachin Tendulkar. Simply wonderful.

VVS Laxman.  Not his best test with the bat, and he’s still an ‘orrible fielder.  Nearly ready for the knackers yard!

Yuvraj Singh.  Got mugged in the first innings, by Flintoff & Harmison but he went away and came back much stronger.  Was superb alongside Sachin to get them to the finish line with plenty to spare.

M S Dhoni.  Fuck he’s got big balls.  Superb effort, oh motorcycle man.  If there’s any one in world cricket that I would like to trade places with, at the moment it’s this fucker..

H Singh. Good batting in the first innings to give the boys a chance, but fuck he’s rubbish with the ball in India.  Also, he needs a proper slap from someone, just shut up you cock!

Zaheer Khan. You sir, are turning into a quality seam bowler.  How he still averages over 30 is beyond me..

Amit Mishra. So so effort from the little fella, will get better.

Ishant Sharma. Not his best test by a long stretch.  Had some major run-up issues, and gave away too many NB’s.  Just didn’t look himself.  Maybe it’s the hair cut, maybe he’s Samson in disguise?

9 Comments so far
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Can’t argue with any of that.

Comment by Mel

As much as I can’t stand the prick, Harbhajan has managed 62 wickets in the last 12 months and has figures in India during this time and obviously over his career are his best, so its getting really hard to find reasons to replace him.
One of the really rare instances when I agree with Ponting, if you give somebody the most overs, he’s gonna end up taking the most wickets. I really was expecting him to take all the credit and do one of his stupid laps toting the flag, I hope someone trips him up the next time he does that.

Comment by achettup

Nope, Ishant is Mowgli in flannel.

Comment by Som

He does look as though he was raised by wild animals, I’ll give you that Som!

achettup, I just want to see him hurt really. even a paper cut.

Comment by Suave

Zaheer Khan still averages over 30 because he gets a mandatory minimum of 1 catch dropped off his bowling in every game. Some games come with as many as 4 surprise gift-drops.

Comment by horatius

Here’s to that Jhangora, and let’s hope we can pull off an exciting win, to level the series in Mohali..
Horatius, that’s true, he does seem to be the unluckiest seam bowler in the world.

Comment by Suave

Well done India !

Comment by Jhangora

That is ‘Chak de India’ Suavey.
It doesn’t matter though! My Hindi is only as good as yours.

Comment by 12th Man

Ah, that’ll teach me for copying it from some oik in the crowd holding a sign!

Comment by Suave

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