Suave's Republique Cricket

What’s that all about then?

Cor blimey guv, it’s all going off aint it.

Fucking bombs galore, hostages, and the terrists want us plucky Brits.

I can’t understand it?  It’s as if we’ve been fucking around in their region’s politics for hundreds of years, subjugating their subjects, and denouncing the whole of their religion as evil or summat.

Next you’ll be telling me that the French don’t like us?!

Lucky it’s not Pakistan, or no foreigner would ever step foot in the country again!   It’s OK though Lalit Modi, the evil genius, reckons we will be playing the test match series, and that’s that.  Based on his previous, I reckon the auld bastard knows a few coercien techniques.  So KP beware!!!

Also, they’ve cancelled the IPL & ICL, and the test series is on, so all that guff about the death of test cricket has just been turned on its head.  It’s the death of pointless 20/20 tournaments!  Huzzah!!

Enough bad news kids, Suavey’s home!

What the fuck is all this bollocks about a fitness race.  I keep seeing this headline (especially just now, with the Krezja/Hauritz selection dilemma), and it’s raised a few questions in Suave’s superhuman brainbox.

  • What is a fitness race?
  • How many people are involved in it, is it just Hauritz and Krezja?
  • What distance is it over?
  • Who holds the Worlds record?
  • What happens if the unfit guy happens to be quicker than the fit guy, even when injured?  Imagine a fitness race between a fit Eddo Brandes and an injured Jimmy Anderson….
  • Where does it take place, and can I watch it?  Also can I bet on it?
  • Why is the race between Krezja and Hauritz, when Marcus North is the best spinner in Sheffield Shield cricket this season.  The fact that North is averaging 53 with the bat, should probably give him some sort of mention in the selection meeting, no?
  • Surely a race is unfair on the bloke who’s injured?
  • What if having the race does the fella in again?  Until we know the specifics of the race, this is a distinct possibility I tells ya.

As always, I DEMAND ANSWERS ADMINISTRACATS.  Or journalists, as you knobbies keep using the phrase.

Lastly, go to Iain O’Briens blog, he’s a fucking genius.

16 Comments so far
Leave a comment

Its been too long since we danced with you sir.

Comment by J Rod

I know fella, I’ve missed you all. All five of you that are left, anyway 😉

Now I’m back at work, I have the time to do my shit. Good news all round I’d say!

Comment by Suave

My eyes misted over with joy at the sight of your return to blogdom so I didn’t actually take in the text of your post at all. Sorry.

Welcome back pottymouth.

Comment by Mel

It’s always nice to have plenty of time to do your shit, Suave. I’d hate to be rushed in that sort of situation.

Comment by Dave

Good to see the sauvetastic ones back.

Comment by Narkins

Thanks to you all for your kind words, it’s like being in a press conference with Peter Moores!

Comment by Suave

YAY! YAY! I have no other words. I will now go to Iain O’Brien’s blog; there are lots of words there.

Comment by miriam

Glad to be back Mims, rescuing your comments from the spam queue as always. Makes me feel warm inside!

Comment by Suave

This terrorism has been a problem plaguing India for the last two years. Islamic terrorists colluding with Pakistani Intelligence agencies are repeatedly conducting terror attacks in India. Their attempt to target British and Americans is to disturb the good diplomatic relationship between India and the US/UK. India is slowly turning into a Pakistan, where there is absolutely no sense of security as we stroll down the road.

Comment by 12th Man

True enough 12th Man, let’s hope this is the last we see for a LONG while!

Comment by Suave

Let us hope suavey. Are you back in Ol’blighty? Must be a welcome relief to have left Belgique and coming back home.

Comment by 12th Man

I am indeed our kid.. Loving it too. Belgium=Rubbish, FACT!

Comment by Suave

Hurrah ! You are back. Brilliant.

We have missed you so!.

I have gone all legit and got me own domain, pls do update the link.

O’ Briens blog is a real laugh !

Comment by damiths

It’s good to be back!

Link changed old bean, and after your suggestion over at CWB, I’m all creative commons licensed up!

Comment by Suave

Superb. It might come in handy one day. It did for me.

Some news paper back home robbed me. But I got them to run a correction citing yours truly !

Comment by DamithS

Good work lad! I didn’t know about that.

Comment by Suave

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