Suave's Republique Cricket

Shaggy, genius and a halfwit!
November 28, 2008, 2:07 pm
Filed under: Cricket | Tags: , , , , , , ,
He's old and stupid, but somehow superb!

He is a halfwit, but his mum loves him

Old shaggy Udal is a clever bloke, you’d imagine.  Not many players get to captain two seperate counties, but he has.  It seems though, that he’s getting a bit mad in the head, was it the shock of the recent terrorist strikes in Mumbai, or is it senility, alzheimers or plain alcoholism?  Our Indian Correspondent Jamish Singh Dorma, was on hand to find out…

JSD:  So Shuan, how did you feel when you heard the news of the attacks in Mumbai?

SU:  I was at home when I heard the news. I was in such a state of shock I had to get down to my local to get my head right.

JSD:  Bloody good way to deal with the stress, isn’t it..  What are your thoughts on the cancellation of the T20 Champions League, as announced by Lalit Modi?

SU: We won’t be boarding the flight in the morning, which will save me getting up in the morning, which is always a bonus.

What more can you add?  Shaun Udal, he’s alright!

Own up, you pervert!
November 27, 2008, 4:56 pm
Filed under: Misdirection | Tags: ,

Come on, who searched for this?  Whomsoever you are, this is for you!

Stuart Broad shows his cock!

Stuart Broad shows his cock!



What’s that all about then?

Cor blimey guv, it’s all going off aint it.

Fucking bombs galore, hostages, and the terrists want us plucky Brits.

I can’t understand it?  It’s as if we’ve been fucking around in their region’s politics for hundreds of years, subjugating their subjects, and denouncing the whole of their religion as evil or summat.

Next you’ll be telling me that the French don’t like us?!

Lucky it’s not Pakistan, or no foreigner would ever step foot in the country again!   It’s OK though Lalit Modi, the evil genius, reckons we will be playing the test match series, and that’s that.  Based on his previous, I reckon the auld bastard knows a few coercien techniques.  So KP beware!!!

Also, they’ve cancelled the IPL & ICL, and the test series is on, so all that guff about the death of test cricket has just been turned on its head.  It’s the death of pointless 20/20 tournaments!  Huzzah!!

Enough bad news kids, Suavey’s home!

What the fuck is all this bollocks about a fitness race.  I keep seeing this headline (especially just now, with the Krezja/Hauritz selection dilemma), and it’s raised a few questions in Suave’s superhuman brainbox.

  • What is a fitness race?
  • How many people are involved in it, is it just Hauritz and Krezja?
  • What distance is it over?
  • Who holds the Worlds record?
  • What happens if the unfit guy happens to be quicker than the fit guy, even when injured?  Imagine a fitness race between a fit Eddo Brandes and an injured Jimmy Anderson….
  • Where does it take place, and can I watch it?  Also can I bet on it?
  • Why is the race between Krezja and Hauritz, when Marcus North is the best spinner in Sheffield Shield cricket this season.  The fact that North is averaging 53 with the bat, should probably give him some sort of mention in the selection meeting, no?
  • Surely a race is unfair on the bloke who’s injured?
  • What if having the race does the fella in again?  Until we know the specifics of the race, this is a distinct possibility I tells ya.

As always, I DEMAND ANSWERS ADMINISTRACATS.  Or journalists, as you knobbies keep using the phrase.

Lastly, go to Iain O’Briens blog, he’s a fucking genius.