Suave's Republique Cricket

Watch Out Melbourne

Jamish Singh Dorma, our Indian correspondent is on the case again, and brings news from the ‘Strayan camp.


In news that will shock just about no-one, Insane McGain’s reign of terror, is soon to be over.

The ‘Strayan quack has decided that his shoulder knack will not be fixed in time, so will be sent on the next flight home.

If you’ve got a flight booked from India to Australia in the next day or two, beware because McGain is a loose cannon.

No Australian has scared the Indian public (and the strayan squad) quite so much as McGain, and not since Gregory David Roberts terrorised Mumbai, have they been so happy to see a Strayan go home.

McGain’s son maybe the only one who can restore him to Nice Bryce, but according to our Strayan correspondent, Bruce, he’s loving the notoriety of having a psyhcotic father.  His young son is now rampaging around his school like Mark “Chopper” Read, and stealing school lunch money to get spin lessons from Terry Jenner.

The plot thickens…

The ACB selection panel are due to arrive in India during the 2nd day of the 1st test, and will surely discuss their spin options.  Currently on tour Crazy Eyes Krezja, has just been spanked like a naughty child at a boarding school, so the ACB will be looking at other options.  Bruce our Strayan correspondent has heard through the grapevine that they’ll be looking for a like for like replacement of Insane McGain, so are due to call up either ‘Tiger’ Bill O’Reilly, or Clarrie Grimmett.

7 Comments so far
Leave a comment

Richie Benaud might be the wild card option.

There are plenty of Lankans in Melbourne. Ill send them a msg on the facebook via the ‘Can we get 500 000 Sri Lankans on one group’

to sound the warning.

Comment by Damith S

Damith, that sounds like a plan, like an early air raid warning!

I thought about Benaud, be he’s got breath in his lungs.

Comment by Suave

Im always glad to help out a fellow Islander.

When is Typhoon Mcgain expected to hit Melb?

Comment by Damith S

Not sure, to be honest, there are no dates on the news ticker.
I would just tell your lankan friends to be on HIGH ALERT!!

Comment by Suave

The Melbournites have been Warned.

Early reports indicate that the major of Melb has told the Melb’ites to refrain from engaging in any form of backyard cricket.

A special warning has sent out to anyone bowling half decent off spin.

I hear even a hotline has been set up in case of any Insane Mcgain related incidents.

Comment by DamithS

Good work DamithS.

If you were a ginger, ageing, all-rounder, I would make you a general in the republican army.

Comment by Suave

Such honors, I do not deserve O’ Suave one.

I will fight for the cause from the sidelines..rather from flyslip.

Comment by DamithS

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