Suave's Republique Cricket

Poor auld Nice Bryce!

More news from our Indian correspondant Jamish Singh Dorma, regarding Nice Bryce.

As reported here exclusively yesterday, Nice Bryce has given himself shoulder knack by pulling too hard on the hand rail to get to the top of those bloody stairs.

He has been replaced by a young off-spinner by the name of Jason Krejza.   Luckily he has young bones that aren’t knacked by big climbs, so will be in the spinners berth come the first test.

Nice Bryce now has to convince the selectors, who arrive on the second day of the first test, that he is fit enough to remain in India.  If he can’t prove his fitness a replacement will be sent for.

Maybe it’ll be someone with their own hip?  Who knows..

Jamish posed a couple of questions to Nice Bryce, and an edited transcript appears below…

Jamish:  So Nice Bryce, how are you feeling?

Nice Bryce:  What do you think you flaming gallah, I’m miserable as sin.  It’s only a year since I had the accident with the bath, and needed a hip replacement (luckily Victoria arranged for one of those bath seats, so that shouldn’t happen again), now i’ve got shoulder knack. 

Jamish:  Sorry to hear that NB, any tips for the young offie Jason Krezja?

Nice Bryce:  Yeah, watch your back sunshine, we wouldn’t want anything untoward to happen during the rest of the tour now would we?!!!  HAAA HAAA HAAA MWAHHHAHHAA MWAAHHHAAAAHHHAAAA

The rest of the tape is Nice Bryce laughing maniacally, and howling to the moon.

So, you heard it here first.  Is Nice Bryce working hard to remove the Nice tag, we shall have to wait and see…

18 Comments so far
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OHNOES! no longer Nice Bryce – but Insane McGain! – the smiling assassin spinner – heal that shoulder O evil one!

Comment by Ceci Masters

Dammit Bryce, with this kind of behavior there is no knowing what Uncle J will do.

He nearly flew off his 1st floor yday cuz of he shoulder Knack.

Now with this manic animal behavior you might just push him over the ledge. Pun intended.

Pull your socks up son!

Comment by Damith S

Insane McGain, soopuyb!

Watch back later for news on Insane McGain.

Comment by Suave


flaming galah

I have never actually heard someone say that.

Comment by Miss Field

Who are you? I seem to recall a young lady going by that name, many moons ago.

Insane McGain isn’t bothered by cutural stereotypes, he’s crazy!

Comment by Suave

I think Insane McGain is a far more appropriate name than Nice Bryce, I must say.

Yes it’s been a while, though you should be honoured, yours is the first blog I’ve visited.

Oy our bet’s still on yeah?? I don’t know what the rankings even look like these days, I could have just shot myself in the foot…

Comment by Miss Field

…now King Kev’s in charge and all.

Comment by Miss Field

Insane McGain would scare batsmen, with his craziness. Nice Bryce isn’t going to put the fear of god into Sehwag.

I’m truly blessed!

If it was only ODI’s? I reckon I’d be in with a shout, but after getting beaten at home by SA, The England will struggle to get to number two in the Test Rankings.
I’d start designing a tee-shirt now.

Comment by Suave

oh my goodness did South Africa beat you… I didn’t even know that. Where have I been? My life in recent weeks could have been so much better with that knowledge haha.

Got an Ashes tip as yet? I’m not liking the things I’m hearing about our team, injury and fitness-level wise..

Comment by Miss Field

Yes, before KP came in, they gave us a bit of a spanking. Greame Smith was superb, which wasn’t good.

Not yet. I reckon it’ll be close though. I’ll be better placed to say once you’ve faced India and South Africa!

Comment by Suave

Never though I’d see you write Graeme Smith and superb in the same sentence.

How is Belgium?

Comment by Miss Field

The man seems to have grown up. He accepted defeat gracefully, and was a good winner too. He seems like a personable chap now. Maybe we’ll have to change the tee-shirt to another hate figure.

Merde. Too far away from The Gris, but for the time being it’ll do. There’s no work in London because of all the banks going bust, so I’ll be here for the foreseeable future.

Comment by Suave

I’m really sorry to hear that hey. Them moving to Belgium is not an option?

Clearly I’ve had a positive effect on ol Grazza. Or are you just saying that because you don’t want to wear a shirt with his face or name on it? Suspicious…

Comment by Miss Field

It may be, if I get extended beyond six months then it’s a definite possibility.

It’s strange, even Shane Warne likes Grazza now, the world is a weird and wonderful place!

Comment by Suave

Well that could be cool, the Gris would be bi-lingual, and I think that’s a great skill to have. Hang in there mate.

So everyone’s friends…. cept Harbhajan Singh. He’s evil. Actually evil is too much credit. Just stupid!

Comment by Miss Field

No, I still hate Hayden the bear-like, orphan eating, fuckhead.
Singh is alright, because he gets up ‘strayan noses, which is funny to see!

Comment by Suave

Well fuck you then!

Yeah, back to normal. Much better. Heh heh.

Comment by Miss Field

You ‘strayans, so easy to wind up 😉

Comment by Suave

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