Suave's Republique Cricket


Wrong ‘Un Fail
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Here’s auld Fubsy not picking the wrong ‘un, and being done through the gate.  Oops.

Maybe he’s still affected by what Insane McGain said to him just recently..



Watch Out Melbourne

Jamish Singh Dorma, our Indian correspondent is on the case again, and brings news from the ‘Strayan camp.

RUN FOR THE HILLS MELBOURNITES.  INSANE McGAIN IS ON HIS WAY HOME.

In news that will shock just about no-one, Insane McGain’s reign of terror, is soon to be over.

The ‘Strayan quack has decided that his shoulder knack will not be fixed in time, so will be sent on the next flight home.

If you’ve got a flight booked from India to Australia in the next day or two, beware because McGain is a loose cannon.

No Australian has scared the Indian public (and the strayan squad) quite so much as McGain, and not since Gregory David Roberts terrorised Mumbai, have they been so happy to see a Strayan go home.

McGain’s son maybe the only one who can restore him to Nice Bryce, but according to our Strayan correspondent, Bruce, he’s loving the notoriety of having a psyhcotic father.  His young son is now rampaging around his school like Mark “Chopper” Read, and stealing school lunch money to get spin lessons from Terry Jenner.

The plot thickens…

The ACB selection panel are due to arrive in India during the 2nd day of the 1st test, and will surely discuss their spin options.  Currently on tour Crazy Eyes Krezja, has just been spanked like a naughty child at a boarding school, so the ACB will be looking at other options.  Bruce our Strayan correspondent has heard through the grapevine that they’ll be looking for a like for like replacement of Insane McGain, so are due to call up either ‘Tiger’ Bill O’Reilly, or Clarrie Grimmett.



Saurav Ganguly in “I don’t look gay at all” shocker
October 2, 2008, 11:38 am
Filed under: Cricket | Tags: , , , , , ,

After the recent revelations of Mr Ganguly’s love for bags, our Indian correspondent, Jamish Singh Dorma has unearthed the following footage

It appears that most of the Indian side have decided to forgo the usual team bath and shower well away from Mr. Ganguly

This may or may not have anything to do with the video.



Insane McGain

From our Indian correspondant Jamish Singh Dorma.

News in that Nice Bryce has officially been renamed Insane McGain (courtesy of our female gossip correspondant Ceci Masters), due to his exceedingly strange behaviour of late.

New photographs show that Insane McGain is working his way through the Australian team scaring them half to death. 

Your wife's at home getting rogered by the milkman Rick, she loves a bald fella!

Your wife is getting rooted by the milkman Rick she loves a bald fella!

Here is laughing maniacally as he tells Fubsy Ponting that his missus is getting a good seeing too, by the local lothario milkman.

Stay still Katto and Insane McGain may think we are already dead!

Stay still Katto and Insane McGain may think we are already dead!

This is Jason Krezja and Simon Katich pretending to be dead, to escape the pure evil of oppugnent Insane McGain, if only these two could exuviate and hide somewhere else.

Jamish tried to question Insane McGain, but was sent away with his tail between his legs, after being vilipended by the crazy eyed, griseous, leg spinner.

In a strange way, Insane McGain seems to become more roborant and agrestic the more he taunts his team mates.

Will this be the way to enlightenment, will he become a demon spin bowler, or will he return to the mansuetude of Nice Bryce, only time will tell.



Poor auld Nice Bryce!

More news from our Indian correspondant Jamish Singh Dorma, regarding Nice Bryce.

As reported here exclusively yesterday, Nice Bryce has given himself shoulder knack by pulling too hard on the hand rail to get to the top of those bloody stairs.

He has been replaced by a young off-spinner by the name of Jason Krejza.   Luckily he has young bones that aren’t knacked by big climbs, so will be in the spinners berth come the first test.

Nice Bryce now has to convince the selectors, who arrive on the second day of the first test, that he is fit enough to remain in India.  If he can’t prove his fitness a replacement will be sent for.

Maybe it’ll be someone with their own hip?  Who knows..

Jamish posed a couple of questions to Nice Bryce, and an edited transcript appears below…

Jamish:  So Nice Bryce, how are you feeling?

Nice Bryce:  What do you think you flaming gallah, I’m miserable as sin.  It’s only a year since I had the accident with the bath, and needed a hip replacement (luckily Victoria arranged for one of those bath seats, so that shouldn’t happen again), now i’ve got shoulder knack. 

Jamish:  Sorry to hear that NB, any tips for the young offie Jason Krezja?

Nice Bryce:  Yeah, watch your back sunshine, we wouldn’t want anything untoward to happen during the rest of the tour now would we?!!!  HAAA HAAA HAAA MWAHHHAHHAA MWAAHHHAAAAHHHAAAA

The rest of the tape is Nice Bryce laughing maniacally, and howling to the moon.

So, you heard it here first.  Is Nice Bryce working hard to remove the Nice tag, we shall have to wait and see…