Suave's Republique Cricket

What to do about Jimmy?
August 27, 2008, 8:53 am
Filed under: Cricket | Tags: , , , , , ,

Jimmy Anderson is an enigma.

He started his bowling career as an ODI specialist, and has now knocked off 94 appearances.

In the last year, he has suddenly started bowling like a proper test match bowler, yet in ODI’s he’s turned to horseshit. 

His last few series averages are:

Sri Lanka vs The England – 4wkts @ 48.25

New Zealand vs The England – 4 wkts @ 67.50

The England vs New Zealand – 5 wkts @ 41.40

The England vs South Africa – So far 0 wkts for 44runs off 8 overs.

His average for this year is 60.33 with an economy of 5.71

His career average has dropped to above 30 from 27 in less than a year!!!  That my friends is pony, and I suggest he gets the bullet for the next ODI.  Whilst he’s been hidden to an extent, with how well his other three quicks are performing, I don’t see KP putting up with it for too much longer.

Bresnan is next in line, I would suggest based on current form, and would add too an already strong batting line up.

If he gets another chance he’s going to have to perform, or I’m gonna tie the shit head up, beat him within an inch of his life and cuckold him, whilst he watches me making sweet music with his wife:

8 Comments so far
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Give him a Hulk Smash, I reckon. It’s about the only thing that’ll keep him out of the team – 9 wickets at 60 each this year, and still he plays. He must be holding Geoff Miller’s kids to ransom.

Comment by Dave

That’s what I’m thinking too Dave, if I can get a go with his missus at the same time, so much the better.
To be fair to the lad, he’s had a good test summer, but I think he likes to be shit at one of the two, to give me something to rage about.

Comment by Suave

Destroy him.

Never liked Jimbos. Not since my girlfriend at the time professed a certain admiration for him.

I second the suave smash.

Comment by The Atheist

Send him back to Auckland.

Worked last time.

Comment by Leg Break

Auckland first, I think..
Then the smash of all smashes if he’s still shit when touring India.

Comment by Suave

Send him to Coventry, more like.

Comment by Dave

No-one deserves that Dave, I can be a nasty bastard, but sending him to the “Ghost Town”, that’s just plain wrong.

Comment by Suave

[…] Jimmy Anderson will quite possibly be getting angry phone calls from his bank manager and cancelling his order for a helicopter this morning after it was announced that he’s not in the $20m team. […]

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