Filed under: Cricket | Tags: county cricket, durham, hampshire, King Cricket, Mark Davies
It’s good to see Durham are still playing on uncovered pitches oop north.
We’re only half way through day two and 20 wickets have fallen for 250 runs.
Is it any wonder Lord Bobert Of Key got so pissed off with the pitch inspectors recently. This being after their championship game lasted three days.
Now, I’ve never played on that wicket but it does look like a medium pacers paradise. Hampshire bowler Dangeranus took 5/45, then super Mark Davies took a superb 8/24 for Durham.
I’m not sure what’s wrong with the lad, there must be something, he’s taken 209 FC wickets @ 21.57 excluding this match, (Fucking hell, how good is that? That’s a rhetorical question by the way) yet he’s constantly ignored by selectors.
Does he stink of rancid shit?
Does he have a penchant for small children?
Is he secretly an alien?
Is he really a viking warrior?
How the fuck would I know, I’m in a stupid godforsaken country that’s proud to be associated with the worst vegetable in the world!
He’s been known to partake in handbags on the pitch from time to time, but Suave can no reveal that Lord Ganguly of Uphisarseasthan loves to carry them whilst shopping.
Maybe Mims can help me identify the exact make and model so that you boys can also be “On trend”
Filed under: Cricket | Tags: England, james anderson, jimmy anderson, odi, South Africa, The England, Tim Bresnan
Jimmy Anderson is an enigma.
He started his bowling career as an ODI specialist, and has now knocked off 94 appearances.
In the last year, he has suddenly started bowling like a proper test match bowler, yet in ODI’s he’s turned to horseshit.
His last few series averages are:
Sri Lanka vs The England – 4wkts @ 48.25
New Zealand vs The England – 4 wkts @ 67.50
The England vs New Zealand – 5 wkts @ 41.40
The England vs South Africa – So far 0 wkts for 44runs off 8 overs.
His average for this year is 60.33 with an economy of 5.71
His career average has dropped to above 30 from 27 in less than a year!!! That my friends is pony, and I suggest he gets the bullet for the next ODI. Whilst he’s been hidden to an extent, with how well his other three quicks are performing, I don’t see KP putting up with it for too much longer.
Bresnan is next in line, I would suggest based on current form, and would add too an already strong batting line up.
If he gets another chance he’s going to have to perform, or I’m gonna tie the shit head up, beat him within an inch of his life and cuckold him, whilst he watches me making sweet music with his wife:
Filed under: Cricket | Tags: Andrew Flintoff, jimmy anderson, Matt Prior, Steve Harmison, stuart broad
How fucking dare they… That’s what I say.
How very dare they have a perfect ODI. Bowl the opposition out for under a hundred and knock off the score for no wickets down. Dirty The English Bastards!
Seriously, I’m happy as a pig in shit. What a performance. Stuart Broad was world class, his line and length were McGrath like, and the boy ran and ran and ran until he looked like he was going to be sick. Then you had Fred & Harmison bowling quick and dangerously at the other end. I’d rather not face that me sen.
The other massive positive was Matt Prior. His keeping was exceptional, and the catch he took away to his left was stunning (if he learns to do that to his right, he’s made). To follow it up with 45no, streaky, but the scorecards don’t say that. Top job foreign wanky wicky.
My only real concern is Jimmy Anderson though. Two games, 8 overs, 44 runs, at 5.5 an over. Carry on like that girly boy, and Suave’s a gonna smash ya!
I’m in all sorts of pain today, slightly less so than yesterday, but still, it’s making me angry. Today’s game, however has made the sun shine brightly. I finished work at 3.30 CET, which was when the game kicked off, I got four beers inside me, and The England have spanked the Saffers. Life is good. It’s difficult to be too angry after all that, but the rage is flowing; by flowing, I mean trickling. A nod is a good as a wink to a blind man, no what I mean?.
A big hello to Spearpoint, and an apology for not answering sooner, but you’re South African and nice, and that has confused me no end 😉
Now fuck off you ungrateful bastards.
Filed under: Cricket | Tags: Cricket, Essex, Essex CCC, Friends Provident Trophy, One day
Quick post, too busy, brain is mush.
Just wanted to say, YOU’SE ALL SHITE!!!
Up the mighty The Essex!
Hard hitting journalism strikes again.