Suave's Republique Cricket


Stupid Fucking Administracats

What a fucking farce that was yesterday.  43 overs played and no result.

Why?

Because Law 43 wasn’t applied.  Nigel Long (third umpire) spoke to Nasser Hussain before the game about switch hitting, and confused the poor sky team, by mentioning Law 43.  (Teh MCC laws only go up to 42) Law 43 is the first one they teach you at “Look at me I’m not good enough to the play the game, so I’ll stop you enjoying it, you better looking, richer, more talented fuckers” school (Umpire school), it is an unwritten rule, that says the power freaks in stupid hats, should use common sense.

Why the fuck did they not do that, when the “playing conditions” stipulated that you can only reduce the lunchtime break to a minimum of 30mins.  WANK OFF YOU SHITTING COCKFUCKS.  Fuck me, they’d only been on the field for an hour and a half.  Why did they not use common sense?  Ten minute turnaround, and that game was over.

It’s not often I agree with Ian “i’m a pickle brained fucknut” Botham or Ian “fuck me he’s got fat since 04” Smith, but they were right yesterday.   The fans sat there all-day in the rain, and they called the game off with one over to go.  NZ needed seven to win.  That would have been a magic finish, to a really good game of cricket.  The players wanted to finish, the crowd wanted it finished, but the administracats want to ruin the game for everyone else.

If I’d have been in the crowd at Edgbaston yesterday, I would have had to start HULK SMASHING THINGS.  I wasn’t, I was looking after The Gris, whilst the missus went for a pedicure.

Honestly, if that had have happened in India, there would’ve been a riot!

Now if we can get rid of Beefy, and let him drink himself into oblivion (whilst still keeping up the sterling charity work!  Good on you for that Beefy),  I’d be a happy man.

I’ve forgotten how to write, it seems, and this is just a vitriolic rant (this one’s for you Ceci!). So I’ll stop now.

One last thing.

Anger is an energy
Anger is an energy
Anger is an energy

I could be wrong
I could be right
I could be wrong
I could be right

UPDATE

See this in less sweary, posher format at Holding Willey!


34 Comments so far
Leave a comment

You need mob to riot my dear friend Sauvey.
Due to the rain, there were only a countable few left in the ground. And they couldn’t have rioted even if they had a “hulk-smasher” amongst them.
But in India, the case is different. The crowd generally doesn’t leave the ground that easily.

Comment by 12th Man

Not to forget, The England were also wasting a lot of time in the field when they realised they stood no chance with Prince Brendan at the crease. Broad and Collingwood were wasting time as the umpires called the match off.

Comment by 12th Man

12th Man, I could cause a riot on an empty street!

Comment by Suave

I like the use of administracrats, but perhaps STUPID FUCKING ADMINISTRACRATIC COCKFUCKS (or FUCKTARDS).

Comment by jrod

I will endeavour to put that in next time. I’ve not written for a couple of weeks, so I’m easing my way in!

12th man, what are you talking about? No chance? It was one over, with seven required, that makes the odds a little in New Zealands favour, but one wicket in the over, and it’s good night!

Comment by Suave

Then you should have been there at Edgbaston to take those morons to task.
What happened yesterday was completely stupid on the part of the administrators. Couldn’t they find time to bowl one over on a full-rainy day?

Comment by 12th Man

I would have gone, if it weren’t raining.

I nearly did, but looked at the forecast, and thought, no.
They felt they had to be consistent, as they brought The England off when it was raining as heavily in their innings.

Comment by Suave

i am getting concerned about how alramingly umps are loosing their heads first world cup farce, then that forfeited test…then monkey gate fiasco and now this…

in all these only one thing required was common sense…but i guess its the most uncommon these days…

Comment by Straight Point

WANK OFF YOU SHITTING COCKFUCKS

Love it! Must use that sometime …

Comment by currycricketer

i know, straight’s. They’re all looking distinctly human. I want robots with laser eyes, who will disintegrate anyone who questions their integrity!

Curry, you have my permission to use that any time you like!

Comment by Suave

Blimey!

Comment by Paul McDonald

Mr Mcdonald! Welcome old fruit.

Comment by Suave

Oh yes! Oh yes! Oh YES!

Oh that was so good and SOOOO loud Suave – you really know how to please a girl…

Comment by Ceci Masters

laser eyes…suave???

all the incidents i mentioned were not split second decisions…they all had time in their hands to use heads which offcourse they forgot to bring along with them…

Comment by Straight Point

Pickle brained fucknut.

One day I’m going to employ you to follow me around and make me laugh.

I think the term is clown, but fear not, you’ll be paid handsomely.

Comment by Miss Field

I’m glad you liked it Ceci. It’s all for you kids really.

Laser eyes, straight points. Not because of split second decisions, but because I want robots who can eliminate Andrew Symonds when he refuses to walk. think, Sharks with frikking lasers.

Miss Field, I will gladly perform such tasks. But you need to pay me shitloads of money to do it.
One needs to remain Suave, and that don’t come cheap, I can tell you!

Comment by Suave

All Rise for Suave!

With the dip in the number of posts lately I feared for your Public Image, but am now re-assured that the Johnny Rotten of bloggers is back!

Comment by Mel

I like your style Mel! I don’t hunch as much as Johnny, but we’re both Finsbury Park boys, and he was just as interested in fashion as this here Suave lad.

I will try to keep the levels up, but I seem to be using a lot of my vitriol on wanky recruitment agents, and fuckheads taking three months to pay me.

Comment by Suave

Don’t worry Suave, you’ll be the suavest clown there ever was, and the wealthiest too.

Incidentally, I’m planning to knock your arse off the top spot over at Sportsfreak.

Comment by Miss Field

Good, then I’m available for employment…

Don’t count on it, chick. My powers are on the rise!

Comment by Suave

It’s downhill from here for you.

Just you wait.

Comment by Miss Field

You’re probably right young lady, but I’ll be going down fighting dirty!

Comment by Suave

Bring it on!

Comment by Miss Field

My my, what an angry young man. I think that if, like me, you had actually been there, you’d have found the entire experience wholly uplifting, and a pleasure to be a part of.

Some people are just so negative!

Comment by Spigot

and nice to see you neatly side stepping the race issue with the PiL quote.

Comment by Spigot

And Suavey, I had an email from an IT recruitment dude named Justian Blount yesterday. Doubt a name like that would leave much to the imagination… Could put you in touch – just say the word.

Comment by Spigot

oh spigsy. I’m sure you were all sunshine and light whilst leaving yesterday!

All recruitment agents are cunts. They should burn in a nasty fire. Unfortunately with the price of petrol so high these days, and me being an out of work bum, my arson days are long behind me. I swear if another one phones me and calls me their mate, and says how wonderful for brilliant everything i’ve done is, i’m going to go postal.

Comment by Suave

I’m going to leave this photo in your capable hands:

Comment by lentheyorkshirekitman

had it happened in india.. there would be a riot only if india were NZ.. or there would hv been a riot otherwise.. there are riots here anyways ya…

i liked the humour of the post.. but wat i liked the most was the idea for laser robots..

was just imagining mark benson go.. target N32′ E42’… Target in sight… Target fixed..

and where is andrew?

Comment by ankit

Len, I shall produce something from that shortly, just for you.

Laser destroying umpires are the way forward. I’ve got more to post on this soon, so look out world!

Comment by Suave

Um Suave,

Fighting dirty is good, but getting your picks in late is fighting soft.

Comment by Sportsfreak

you seem to be blaming the wrong people – the poms were the ones playing slowly, they were the ones who complained to the umpires about conditions, and they were the ones sprinting off.
I have only ever been as angry twice before during a cricket match. The first was when that fucker trevor chappell bowled underarm to us on the last ball of an ODI, and the second was when the umpires refused to give the last aussie batsmen out during the 89 tour of Australia. No hang on during one of the tours to the windies in the 80’s we were denied a test victory when somehow the sprinklers got left on overnight rendering the pitch unplayable. It seems these things happen to nz all too often.
Yesterday was just one more nail in the coffin of cricket in general. I can see a day when NZ won’t be able to field a team at all, let alone a team of talented players. it just doesn’t seem worth it sometimes.

Comment by dave

Dave, I appreciate where you’re coming from, but if you think daniel vettori would have done any different, if the roles were reversed, you’re as crazy as i am, and that’s saying something!

Comment by Suave

Why don’t we have public floggings at cricket grounds anymore? Whose idea was it to stop that?

Comment by Samir Chopra




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