Suave's Republique Cricket


Mohammed Asif is a coke head (allegedly!)
June 3, 2008, 12:00 pm
Filed under: Cricket | Tags: , , ,

OOps..

Someone forgot to remove the coke from his wallet.

This happened to a friend on their way back from Amsterdam, and the security guard found a small wrap of cocaine, and said to her. “You might want to lose that before you get back to Britain, yes..”

She had a squeaky bum moment. I wonder whether the guy would have been so lenient on the way in to his Country?

Anyway, Asif has added another beauty to his long list of major fuckups. Dumb ass.


43 Comments so far
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What is it with Pakistan fast bowlers and controversies? They always seem to be involved in one or the other.

Comment by 12th Man

Why couldn’t he have picked Singapore, or Thailand to do such an act …

Comment by currycricketer

I know, in some countries they cut off peoples hands for this sort of thing. I’d have liked to have seen him bowl with no hands!

Comment by Suave

Funny how customs officials are a bit stricter in Dubai than Amsterdam, isn’t it?

Comment by Dave

Yeah, I can’t understand that at all!

Comment by Suave

Once had a customs official in Singapore tell me my zip on my pants wasn’t up. That’s about as exciting as it gets for me.

Comment by currycricketer

Why did I write that? feck.

Comment by currycricketer

I once bought some cigarettes for a friend (yes, really for a friend) in duty free in America, and totally overshot my allowance by, oh, 100%. I didn’t realise until I got to England, and because I’m such a good, law abiding, upstanding moral pillar of the community just couldn’t bring myself to sneak them through. (Plus they wouldn’t fit in my luggage. What can I say – it was New York, there was shopping). So I went through the red channel, fessed up everything and the customs official let me and all the cigarettes through as a reward for my disarming honesty. Asif, read and learn.

Comment by miriam

Nice work Curry… I reckon he fancied you!

Comment by Suave

That’s awesome Miriam. UK Customs never ceased to amaze me for their… non-presence. And last year my friend Ruth asked if she needed to declare something and they laughed and said “You must be Australian”.

My grand airport security moments were in India, where, everywhere I went, I was asked if I was related to Brett Lee. I would get a grunt as a request to see my passport and their face would light up when they saw my name… “Lee!!!! Brett Lee!!”

Yes. The resemblance is strong in this one.

Comment by Miss Field

Nice work Mims. A decent upstanding member of the community.

Unlike some!!

Comment by Suave

They do actually catch lots of people Missy. They just don’t care about people with a few too many fags or bottles of whisky!

Comment by Suave

The set up is just very different to ours, and I know that’s inviting criticism but I have no doubt you understand the fragile nature of our ecosystem and hence why its protection is imperative.

Right?

Comment by Miss Field

Indeed, we can’t have you bringing rogue oranges to the country now, can we!

Franz Ferdinand were stopped at customs in NZ for this.

Comment by Suave

Yeah I remember that. Actually it’s not just internationally, I flew from Kununurra to Perth today (the same state) and quarantine is still an issue. No mangoes for me. Shame.

Comment by Miss Field

The airport security thing that gets to me is that you can’t even take a lipgloss on a plane anymore. I mean, a set of plastic bottles containing various nitrates, some leads and some batteries I can understand, but a lipgloss? Are they afraid that you’ll PRETTY people to death?

Comment by miriam

Hey why did my monster go? I want a monster!

Comment by Miss Field

I’m very confused. I was only just getting comfortable with the baddy being ahktar, now it’s the other one. Mr green shirt floppy hair #2 to me.

Never could stand cigarettes, just turned my green a few seconds in each time. I’d have really resented losing that much money though… I’d have probably chain smoked them regardless or eaten them like that girl was made to do in Biker Grove that time.

Do remember being force fed vast amounts of fresh fruit en route to Orlando once. Mother dear hated the thought of it being binned so made us eat the lot, my and my sister. Couldn’t look at a pear for months.

Comment by Spigot

That’s hilarious, your mum is a champion.

Comment by Miss Field

Ahhh Mangoes king of the fruits there, Miss field. Good choice.

Comment by Spigot

They wouldn’t let a bloke fly from Gatwick the other day, because he was wearing an Optimus Prime t-shirt.

Now Transformer officianados will know that he had a gun for an arm, and that meant no fly!

Comment by Suave

Weebl!!

You are also a champion!

Comment by Miss Field

Asif maybe a coke head but 20/20 cricket is choke head. We shall be choked after watching so many popular matches.

Comment by Hiren

I had mango salad last night, that could explain why I feel all piratey today. Aaaargh!

Comment by Suave

Suave, that’s a joke, yes?

Comment by Miss Field

I wish mangoes were in season here. Boo hoo.

Comment by Miss Field

No, I really did have mango salad last night.
That’s no joking matter, Missy!

And if you meant the other thing, then no.

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article1234193.ece

Comment by Suave

That’s bloody stupid. Gee, I’ve only heard good things about T5… hmm.

Comment by Miss Field

Hiren, sorry your comment got a bit lost there! Let’s hope they make next years tournament a little shorter, or break it up in to two segments. 20/20 is great fun, and it’s good family cricket. Too much would be a bad thing..

We’ve got it all going on Missy.

Comment by Suave

Season? what are you talking about? Is that like when we have to keep my dog (named Wicket of course) inside for a fortnight?

Mangoes come from shops, everyone knows that, just go and buy one. You lot do have money down there don’t you?

Comment by Spigot

Suave, do you have a “worst pun of the year” award? Hiren clearly deserves one there.

Comment by Spigot

Those funny aussies, it’s the time difference,messes with their heads!

I don’t but I may well have to start that!

Comment by Suave

Ta, lads. At least we grow our own mangoes.

Is your dog named Wicket after the ewok?

Comment by Miss Field

“I’d have liked to have seen him bowl with no hands”.
You are a sadist Sauvey.

Comment by 12th Man

Thanks 12th Man, the best compliment I’ve had all day!

Comment by Suave

Miss Field… Yes, that actually was the story when I thought of it and was true for about 3 seconds. No one I explained the name to knew who Wicket W. Warwick was, let alone the star co-ordinates of Endor (the palestines!). So now I just say (admit) it’s from cricket.

Comment by Spigot

Ha ha..was just joking dear Suave.
Its a practice in such countries to chop the hands of people who are involved in thieving.
Asif’s charge of drug smuggling will be handled differently. They may chop some other vital organ.

Comment by 12th Man

Watching Asif bowl with no hands, surely a DLF squeaky bum moment.

Comment by Ottayan

Ottayan, and a Citi moment of success for the opposition?

Comment by 12th Man

Nice work Gents!

Maybe a shitty moment of success! Does that now mean I’ve got the worst pun award?

Comment by Suave

Good one! Sauvey. I appreciate that.

Comment by 12th Man

You, dear sir, deservedly get the MOM.

Comment by Ottayan

Why thank you gentlemen!

It’s pat on the backs all-round, unless Wolf Blass want to send me a case of wine, then I might share some of that!

Comment by Suave




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