Suave's Republique Cricket

Bloody Bad Light Again!
June 30, 2008, 11:43 am
Filed under: Bad Light | Tags:

Suave is a bum at present, and is thoroughly bored of it, frankly.

I have to take a sabbatical for two reasons.

One, I’m going to Germany for three days of rock and roll debauchery, and two, because I need to get a job ASAP.

In the mean time, I bid you farewell, and promise to be back soon, and plenty fucking angry.



This is for you Captain Colly. We all believe in you.
June 20, 2008, 12:58 pm
Filed under: Cricket | Tags: , ,

I love The Broken Family Band.   They rock, and for you Mr Collingwood, chief executioner of Suave’s Republican Army, I give you this.

We still love you, you ginger ninja.

Tipping Velvet Part Deux
June 20, 2008, 11:56 am
Filed under: Cricket | Tags: , , , ,

As joint runner up in the short form tipping comp at SportsFreak, alongside King Cricket, I have to share my picks with the rest of the group.   As ever, I’m the last one to do it, as I require deadlines to get me into action.

Here are my tips

1. ODI at Portishead Park: Winner

I’m going leftfield here.  No Result, due to rain.

2. Portishead Park: Highest run-scorer

No-one, as there will not be a match.
3. PP: Most wickets

No-one here either.

4. ODI at Fosters Oval: Winner

The England.  Because NZ are shit.

5. FO: Highest run-scorer

Ravi Bopara.  Well the boy’s got to start scoring at some point!

6. FO: Most wickets

Ryan Sidebottom.  The oval is notoriously flat, so only the best bowlers will get any wickets at all.

7. ODI at Lords (no funny titles appropriate there): Winner

The England.

8. Lords: Highest run-scorer

Ian Bell.

9. Lords: Most wickets

jimmy Anderson. I reckon it might swing, and if he gets the slope in his favour, he may cause havoc

10. Shortest innings in terms of balls faced excluding not out batsmen.

Tim Ambrose.  He’s shit, he’s a wanky wicky, and one of them there foreign fellas.

Stupid Fucking Administracats

What a fucking farce that was yesterday.  43 overs played and no result.


Because Law 43 wasn’t applied.  Nigel Long (third umpire) spoke to Nasser Hussain before the game about switch hitting, and confused the poor sky team, by mentioning Law 43.  (Teh MCC laws only go up to 42) Law 43 is the first one they teach you at “Look at me I’m not good enough to the play the game, so I’ll stop you enjoying it, you better looking, richer, more talented fuckers” school (Umpire school), it is an unwritten rule, that says the power freaks in stupid hats, should use common sense.

Why the fuck did they not do that, when the “playing conditions” stipulated that you can only reduce the lunchtime break to a minimum of 30mins.  WANK OFF YOU SHITTING COCKFUCKS.  Fuck me, they’d only been on the field for an hour and a half.  Why did they not use common sense?  Ten minute turnaround, and that game was over.

It’s not often I agree with Ian “i’m a pickle brained fucknut” Botham or Ian “fuck me he’s got fat since 04” Smith, but they were right yesterday.   The fans sat there all-day in the rain, and they called the game off with one over to go.  NZ needed seven to win.  That would have been a magic finish, to a really good game of cricket.  The players wanted to finish, the crowd wanted it finished, but the administracats want to ruin the game for everyone else.

If I’d have been in the crowd at Edgbaston yesterday, I would have had to start HULK SMASHING THINGS.  I wasn’t, I was looking after The Gris, whilst the missus went for a pedicure.

Honestly, if that had have happened in India, there would’ve been a riot!

Now if we can get rid of Beefy, and let him drink himself into oblivion (whilst still keeping up the sterling charity work!  Good on you for that Beefy),  I’d be a happy man.

I’ve forgotten how to write, it seems, and this is just a vitriolic rant (this one’s for you Ceci!). So I’ll stop now.

One last thing.

Anger is an energy
Anger is an energy
Anger is an energy

I could be wrong
I could be right
I could be wrong
I could be right


See this in less sweary, posher format at Holding Willey!

Suave say sorry.
June 17, 2008, 10:10 am
Filed under: Bad Light | Tags:

I do, honest.

Too much time spent job hunting, in this period of financial instability (industry, not me), has rendered my brain a useless mush.

I’m having to re-learn lots of technical things, I’d forgotten, which are sorely lacking at present, so I haven’t been able to concentrate on Teh Cricket.

I miss it, but will be back and firing soon, hopefully.

Until then Comrades, VIVE LA REPUBLIQUE!

June 12, 2008, 7:35 pm
Filed under: Cricket, LOLCricket | Tags: , ,

Penis Goes Where?!!!

Mims’ Made Up Picture of Pure Delight!

After Mims stormed the competition, to guess the correct answer of Basil D’Oliveira from the weekly quiz of wonderment..

Here is her picture-metaphor, with a wink to King Cricket for the inspiration

A cat not being indifferent to cricket

Well done Mims, you’re a star.