Suave's Republique Cricket

Day one report.
May 24, 2008, 10:00 am
Filed under: Cricket

What is it, with this bad light shite. We play in near darkness every fucking week, and they can’t play in a slight gloom. Wankers, the lot of them..

At the end of the days play, I reckon it was about honours even.
Sidebottom bowled well, without too much penetration. Fnarr Fnarr.
Jimmy Anderson showed how much of a frustrating twat he really is, by chucking pies for most of the day, with the odd wonder delivery. The ball to dismiss How, was a cracker. Outswinger, pitching on off and moving away. Flynn will want to forget the bouncer he took on the teeth. His dentist wiull be much happier, though!
Stuart Broad bowled well without taking any wickets. Good econonmy, and nice aggression too.
Panesar was a starfish. He got McCullum with a fairly decent delivery but that was more to do with McCullum playing in stupid mode.

From a Kiwi perspective, Ross Taylor was obviously a star. A cracking innings, with shots all around the ground. He looks mustard!
Brendan McCullum was a twat, plain and simple.
Jamie How had a good knock before receiving a jaffer from Jimmy.
Aaron Redmond was undone by an excellent piece of bowling. Sidey worked him over, beautifully.

More to come later! The Gris is bothering me about getting in the garden, so Daddy must oblige.

9 Comments so far
Leave a comment

I haven’t looked at the scores, was McCullum being a twat because he was doing well? I hope so, I think I tipped him to do well.

I wish you’d all stop using the words Monty and starfish in the same sentence. It conjures not nice thoughts, I tell you.

Watch out for insects!

Comment by Miss Field

Although, reading it again, you used the words Panesar and starfish in the same sentence, and McCullum was out on day one so he probably didn’t do terribly well… I’m sure you know what I mean, even if I don’t.

Comment by Miss Field

McCullum came out and smashed monty for 10 from 2 then was out nigh on next ball. Silly.

I have no idea what you’re talking about viz. Monty & Starfish, and there’s no way I’m googling it!

Comment by Suave


Bloody Brendan, little shit. He’d better try harder next innings.

Haha I’m not Googling it either. What he gets up to (or, I suppose, doesn’t get up to) is not something I want to think about!

Comment by Miss Field

Isn’t there a better spinner in ‘The England’ other than Monty?

Comment by 12th Man

Maybe not yet, but Adil Rashid is no worse, and averages 35 with the bat. He also fields at cover point. He’ a very good all-round cricketer.

Comment by Suave

Swann not Adil yet.

Starfish, by the way, go in for gang-banging. They also extrude their stomachs through their mouths to dissolve the flesh of their victims (not whilst gang-banging of course – that would be bad manners)

Comment by Ceci Masters

Ceci, I know you love him so. But I just do not think he’s good enough for test match cricket.

The filthy bastards.. They’re almost as freaky as cephalapods, but nothing is that freaky.

Comment by Suave

Miss Field, I never want to have the image of Monty and the starfish position EVER again, ok?

Comment by miriam

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