Suave's Republique Cricket


Fathead fails a fitness test

FatHeadFlatTrackBully

In the nicest bit of news I’ve heard in days, FatheadFlatTrackBully aka BearlikeOrphanEatingFuckHead aka Matthew Hayden, is unlikely to play in the first test at Sabina Park versus the West Indies, due to achilles tendon knack. 

Wankchops picked this injury up whoring himself for the Chennai Pikey’s Fags, in the IPL.  Serves him right, the odious twAT.

As you can probably tell, I’m back from mountain climbing (knacked from it too), so will crank up the work rate, whilst I can, as I’m also job hunting.

Love to all, except FatHead.


20 Comments so far
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Woooh! Now Katich gets a run!! About time.

Comment by currycricketer

You are charming.

Comment by Miss Field

“Wankchops picked this injury up whoring himself for the Chennai Pikey’s Fags”

This makes me laugh out loud every time I look at it.

Comment by miriam

the only good reason to see katich playing is that he might get a good run in the side and we can make him look shit again next year!

Missy that’s why i’m such a suave and urbane kind of guy.
And no i’m not allergic to exercise. I walked over 40 miles this weekend, and I cycle 60 every week! Fit as a fiddle me! Albeit a smoking, drinking, rock and roll fiddle!

Mims i’m glad to be of service 😉

Comment by Suave

I thought the title “bearlike…head” went to Greame Smith. Because i thought he was the flat track bully.

Comment by 12th Man

12th man, that’s because Mr Smith idolises Mr Hayden. He wants to be him, so he generates a whole new level of hatred.

Comment by Suave

How v spooky oh lovely mountain man. Have just shopped this:

and then I find your latest entry on vile bear Hayden (but not as vile as vile vile vile bare Hayden)

Comment by Ceci Masters

Oh dear lord, now I will have nightmares about a bare bear hayden. Maybe it’ll turn into a nice dream, about hayden getting eaten by a bear.

Comment by Suave

Smoking – yuck. You must be English… actually I’m wearing a jumper with Urbane on the label. Amazing.

Anyway, you wouldn’t complain if Hayden played for England.

Comment by Miss Field

I would, I can tell you that. You’ve only got to look at my hate list today, to see that I’m as happy to abuse English players, as I am anyone else!

Comment by Suave

[…] Australian side is potentially the least predictable it’s been in ages, with Hayden a doubt. If, as cricinfo thinks, this means moving Simon Katich up the order, and with Michael Clarke on […]

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Yeah I realised that after I posted it.

You know, hate leads to suffering. And we all know where that leads.

Comment by Miss Field

Katich, Hodge, Haddin in for Hayden, Clarke, Gilly. Hmmm.. wonder what Taylor, Powell, and Edwards are thinking…

Comment by Q

To you wearing an I heart the Barmy Army t-shirt, I know Missy!

Q. They don’t think, which is their biggest problem. All of them average over 35. Grunts average over 35, proper thinking bowlers don’t.

Comment by Suave

Do I have to make my own t-shirt? That would be hell.

Comment by Miss Field

I reckon you might have too. I’m useless at that sort of thing, and if vaughny’s book is anything to go by, it’d take years to be delivered!

Comment by Suave

That’s a good point, although it was travelling by sea and being such a dead weight didn’t help.

Comment by Miss Field

[…] the time the 2nd Test comes around, of course, the English bloggers’ favourite batsman will be back in the side, and things will probably return to normal, with Australia scoring 600-0 […]

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[…] Windies tour, so perhaps it’d be worth a shot giving him a go. You wouldn’t see the bearlike orphan eating fuckhead rolling his arm over, so credit to the Kat for that at […]

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[…] Love Now that sport’s greatest orator has finally been given the árse, the pressure will start to mount on Michael Edward Killeen Hussey […]

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