Filed under: Cricket | Tags: Andrew Strauss, England, Ian Bell, james anderson, jimmy anderson, Monty Panesar, New Zealand, paul collingwood, The England, Wing Commander
Well fuck my old boots. The England done won it, when they should have been spanked like a naughty orphan!
This is good. Wing Commander seems to look back in best form, and I’m doing fairly well in Sportsfreak’s tipping competition!
A couple of things alarmed me. Paul Collingwood looks like he’s batting with a matchstick instead of a big bloody bat! Ian Bell, should spend less time hiding his ginger, and more time remembering he has all the talent in the world! The little fuckstick doesn’t seem to be able to avoid fielders for love nor money. Strawberry haired arse.
Monty did well, but should be doing this more often. He’s still on my list for a slap, but he’s probably given himself a weeks grace.
Jimmy Anderson is still in line for a slap, although he’s averaging better than any recent series. If he could stop bowling pie-pie-pie-jaffer-longhop-pie, I’d be happy!
I’m a little pre-occupied at the minute, as I’m job hunting, but we will be back on it big time soon..
Filed under: Cricket, Fail, FailCricket, LOLCricket | Tags: Cricket, Daniel Flynn, England, Fail, FailCricket, New Zealand
All he wants for Christmas is his two front teeth apparrently!
Filed under: Cricket
What is it, with this bad light shite. We play in near darkness every fucking week, and they can’t play in a slight gloom. Wankers, the lot of them..
At the end of the days play, I reckon it was about honours even.
Sidebottom bowled well, without too much penetration. Fnarr Fnarr.
Jimmy Anderson showed how much of a frustrating twat he really is, by chucking pies for most of the day, with the odd wonder delivery. The ball to dismiss How, was a cracker. Outswinger, pitching on off and moving away. Flynn will want to forget the bouncer he took on the teeth. His dentist wiull be much happier, though!
Stuart Broad bowled well without taking any wickets. Good econonmy, and nice aggression too.
Panesar was a starfish. He got McCullum with a fairly decent delivery but that was more to do with McCullum playing in stupid mode.
From a Kiwi perspective, Ross Taylor was obviously a star. A cracking innings, with shots all around the ground. He looks mustard!
Brendan McCullum was a twat, plain and simple.
Jamie How had a good knock before receiving a jaffer from Jimmy.
Aaron Redmond was undone by an excellent piece of bowling. Sidey worked him over, beautifully.
More to come later! The Gris is bothering me about getting in the garden, so Daddy must oblige.
Filed under: Cricket | Tags: Bangalore Royal Challengers, Chennai Super Kings, Cricket, Dimitri Mascerhanas, Ian Bell, ian chappell, IPL, match fixing, Matthew Hayden, Michael Vaughan, Peter Moores, Ricky Ponting
Matthew Hayden: Great flat-footed grizzly bear. As Charlie Brooker once said
Spirituality’ is what cretins have in place of imagination. That sums the oaf up perfectly.
Peter Moores: Stop fucking smiling you buck toothed twat. Glass half full bollocks, you win this series, then smile. Until then I want a miserable bastard, who looks like he’s going to set fire to the next batsman not to score a ton, or bowler to take a five fer.
Match Fixing: THere’s no way on earth that Chennai Pikey Fags should have lost yesterday. Some fucker’s fixed that.
Michael Vaughan: Smug twat. I could understand being so smug if your average was near the fatheadflattrackbully’s. BUT IT’S NOT!! YOU AVERAGE 42.96! Fucking hell man, and it drops since you’ve been skipper.
Ian Bell. You’re ginger, now fucking live with it. No-one believes that you’re strawberry blond, you Miserable molecule of mildew
Ian Chappell: What a boring rent-a-quote prick.
Ricky Ponting: The real reason you didn’t wear your baggy greens in the tour match, was because you were paid more for not wearing it. SToP fucking lying.
Dimitri Mascheranas: Oh you honourable c*nt. You’ll stay with your contracted county, where you’re the CLUB CAPTAIN, by the way. Instead of sitting in a dug out in India. Oh god bless you, dear child! You shit house fuckwit.
Filed under: Cricket | Tags: 20-20, 20/20, Chris Tremlett, Cricket, Fat Head, fatheadflattrackbully, Greame Smith, IPL, james anderson, jimmy anderson, Mark Ramprakash, Matthew Hayden, Matthew Hoggard, Monty Panesar, orphan eating bear like fuckhead, Steve Harmison, stuart broad
IPL.. Fucking hurry up and get to the semi-final stage. I’m fucked off with watching stupid Kallis and Dravid pretend they aren’t ancient.
Matthew Hayden. This goes without saying.
Greame Smith. For wanting to be Hayden.
Steve Harmison. For breaking Hoggy’s thumb.
Chris Tremlett. For looking like he should kill people, but being a meek and mild twat.
Jimmy Anderson. For being a useless twat for four balls an over, and looking great the other two.
Stuart Broad. For believing his own hype.
Monty Panesar. For being a starfish.
The England Selectors. For not picking Adil Rashid.
The England Middle Order. For not scoring any runs, and looking far too comfortable.
Mark Ramprakash. Fucking hurry up and score that century, so we can all move on. Please!!
Filed under: Cricket | Tags: australia, Chennai Super Kings, Cricket, fatheadflattrackbully, IPL, Knack, Matthew Hayden, orphan eating bear like fuckhead, west indies
In the nicest bit of news I’ve heard in days, FatheadFlatTrackBully aka BearlikeOrphanEatingFuckHead aka Matthew Hayden, is unlikely to play in the first test at Sabina Park versus the West Indies, due to achilles tendon knack.
Wankchops picked this injury up whoring himself for the Chennai Pikey’s Fags, in the IPL. Serves him right, the odious twAT.
As you can probably tell, I’m back from mountain climbing (knacked from it too), so will crank up the work rate, whilst I can, as I’m also job hunting.
Love to all, except FatHead.