Suave's Republique Cricket


India in “we’ve turned it around, and now it’s those saffers getting spanked” shocker!

Well, Jrod got his prediction right, and India have won within three and half days, to draw the test series with South Africa.

MS Dhoni captained the Indians, in the absence of Anil Kumble. he performed rather well, I thought. He had Singh open the bowling, which worked a treat.

As expected, on a pitch that’s slow, with uneven bounce, and a raging turner, Harbhajan Singh performed admirably. Virender Sehwag also proved an excellent support act, after the little leggy, Chawla (must have been busy with his lusty thoughts, all leggies are lusty, some lusties are leggies, therefore all leggies are lusty, or some such gubbins), proved to be shit.

Viru’s first delivery of his first spell, ripped, spat, bit, called Kallis’ lovemaking in to question, molested his sister, fornicated with his Aunty, and had him caught off the glove by Jaffer.

Not bad for a part-time off-spinner. No lust there, offies are not lusty. They’re dusty,

Any way, it ended up a drawn series, which was a good recovery from India, after getting spanked in the first test

Heroes & Villains

Heroes

Saurav Ganguly.  His first innings 87 really was outstanding, and gave India the lead they needed to turn over the chokers.

Virender Sehwag.  Just because. No more needs to be said.

Ishant Sharma.  For being a gangly freak, who bowls nicely and looks like a praying mantis.

MS Dhoni.  For being captain marvel, and saving India’s blushes with some inspired skippering.

Villains

The whole South African team, for being South african.

Paul Harris.  For being a worse spinner than India’s part timers.  Fucking hell man, you get paid to SPIN and take wickets.  On a raging turner, with uneven bounce, most spinners would be looking at four or five wickets per innings.  He took 4-147.  Wanker.


11 Comments so far
Leave a comment

Paul Harris gets paid.

Wonders never cease…

Comment by J Rod

It’s scandalous!

Firstly he’s a spinner, in a Saffer XI.
Secondly he gets paid.
Thirdly. Fuck thirdly, I hate it, the bastard.

Comment by Suave

Save Graeme Smith!

Comment by Miss

Hark! I’ve lost my field.

Comment by Miss

I say, burn him. Burn Greame Smith!

Comment by Suave

Yes. You lost it on Saturday. If I recall.

Comment by Suave

How careless of me. I’m afraid I don’t remember. Had I been drinking?

Comment by Miss

I think you may have been yes.. It was rather late in your neck of the hemispherical woods, or something.

Comment by Suave

And the only reason Harris took a wicket in the 2nd innings is because Sehwag decided to be Shahid Afridi. Harris is rubbish. He’ll be a lower-middle order batsmen in a couple of years, just like Nicky Boje and Johan Botha.

Comment by Dave

There’s no compromise, is there.

Either a match is a five-day bore. Or it’s a three day batting collapse.

We should provide the losing side with some steroids to prolong the match and make it generally more interesting.

Comment by The Atheist

Never a truer word said Dave… KP started as a south african spinner too.

I think we were quite lucky to get the pitches we did in New Zealand, to be honest, they had something in them for both bat and ball.

I’m quite happy for the saffers to have lots of steroids (Nel already looks like he suffers from Roid rage), as they make you infertile, which will stop their gene pool expanding!

Comment by Suave




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