Suave's Republique Cricket

Six word reviews. The England vs New Zealand

After reading a great article here. I’ve decided to do a six word review of every player, from every test match nation.

I shall start, as is my wont, with the recently victorious The England, and their plucky opposition New Zealand

The England

Alastair Cook: Promises much, will he deliver soon?

Michael Vaughan: Michael Vaughan thinks Michael Vaughan’s wonderful. (can i get away with Vaughan’s? You Decide)

Andrew Strauss: Wing Commander needs to soar again.

Kevin Pietersen: Ever told you I am great?

Ian bell: Foreplay beautiful, intercourse over in seconds.

Paul Collingwood: Gritty northener, shovels to leg often.

Tim Ambrose: Australian wanky wicky, we shall see.

Stuart Broad: Boy band bowler, looks very good.

Ryan Sidebottom: Lion of Huddersfield likes to roar.

Jimmy Anderson: Hot wife, hot and cold bowling

Monty Panesar: Sikh of Tweak fields like spastic.

The Old Zealand 

Matthew Bell:  miss, swing, swing, miss, miss, out.

Jamie How:   How indeed?  better in ODI’s, shit.

Stephen Fleming:  Plays wonderfully until fifty, then out.

Matthew Sinclair:  Fuck I’m shit, Shoot me please

Ross Taylor:  Did well, will get found out.

Grant Elliot:  If test quality, god help us.

Brendan McCullum: Smash bang wallop, shit dropped it.

Daniel Vettori:  Used to Bowl, now a batsman.

Tim Southee:  Buck toothed young buck comes good.

Jeetan Patel:  Bowl better than skipper, still dropped.

Chris Martin: Comical batting, used to have hair.

Coming tomorrow, India vs South Africa or West Indies vs Sri Lanka

11 Comments so far
Leave a comment

Clear, concise, and oh so comical.

I give it a ten, a fucken ten.

Comment by jrod

Firstly, thank you kindly dear heart, coming from one so esteemed, it’s high praise indeed.

Secondly, what are you doing up at this hour? Crazy fool.

Comment by Suave

I LOVE these. More, please, Suave?

Comment by Miriam

Nice work Suave.


Comment by sportsfreak

Damn hyperlinking

Comment by sportsfreak

You’re the leader of your own banana republic, create your own style… but for what it’s worth, I reckon you can get away with contractions being one word.

Tis cool. I find it interesting that mos six word reviews end up as two three-word halves.

Comment by Miss Field

It’s like reading poetry, or cryptic crossword clues.

Comment by Ben

Mims, more today, I promise!!

Thanks Sportsfreak, I enjoyed it.. look out for more world cricket teams coming to a suave blog near you, SOOON!

Miss field, thanks for clearing that up!
And what’s this banana republic, we’re so much better than that.

Only 7 out of 22 were three & three?

Comment by Suave

Thanks Ben, I thought it was a great idea for music, and it seems to work for the cricket too!

Comment by Suave

[…] Six word reviews. The England vs New Zealand […]

Pingback by Six word reviews. India vs South Africa « Suave’s Republique Cricket

[…] The 6 word descriptions are taking over the Cricket Blogosphere, I thought I’d introduce the Rugby world to the phenonamon. I don’t know who started the trend, however the first I saw it was by his Suaveness over at Republic Cricket. […]

Pingback by the mighty Tahs in 6 word descriptions - Aussie Cricket, Rugby and Beer Blog

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