Suave's Republique Cricket


Read all about it, News Of The World, News Of The World!

The test series in India is underway, and South Africa have been b0wled out for 540.  What a surprise, another sub-continental flat track, with nothing at all in it for the bowlers.  No seam, swing, spin or bounce.   Wank I tell ya.  Who would want to be a bowler on the subcontinent.

The nail in Dean Jones’ coffin (hooray!) scored an impressive 159.  He would have gone on to much more, if he hadn’t been sold down the river by Mark Boucher.  He never looked like getting out.

Darryl Cullinan had this to say about the young buck:  “I said before this Test started that he would be the pick of the batsmen on both sides and I am anticipating a very good tour for Amla”

High praise indeed, although Jrod at Cricket With Balls is still less than impressed..

India in reply, are currently 35-0 from 6 overs.  They are currently smashing Ntini and Steyn to all parts.   You’d have to feel sorry for Paul Harris, he’s going to have to do an awful lot of work today.

Sri Lanka have won their first ever test in the West Indies.  The West Indies nearly managed to save the game, but unfortuantely for Chris Gayle, he ran out of partners.

Jrod thinks that Chris Gayle is cooler than most, but I’m starting to change my mind about him.

He’s losing his bottle at the top of the order, and twice in the last few test matches has demoted himself down the order.  Yesterday he did it, because he didn’t want to face Chaminda Vaas with the new ball.

“It’s no secret. Yes, he has got me out the majority of times in Test cricket whenever I play against Sri Lanka. It’s something you have to face and something you have to deal with. I tried something different, tried something new, coming a bit later when the ball is a bit older, and it worked. But I don’t know if I’m going to do it in the next game.”

He averages 16.3 against the Sirils, and 1.42 against Vaasy.  That my friend is a bunny!

In other news, NZ’s administracats have allowed five of their squad, due to travel to The England, to miss the first two weeks of their warm-up tour, to play in the IPL.

Brilliant, because there’s nothing like getting used to swinging, damp conditions in The England in May, where the ball will be hooping round corners, by playing 20/20 cricket on fucking flat roads in India!!!

Stupid fuckers.


6 Comments so far
Leave a comment

Suave, do you think you could average higher againt Vaas? How would you deal with him?

I always had a weakness against left-armers over the wicket. Mainly because I didn’t wear a thigh-pad, and I repeatedly missed the ball.

Comment by The Atheist

Not sure about that The Atheist. But I don’t have a problem against left handers at my standard of cricket.
None of the bowlers I face, swing it both ways, so that would make it a bit easier. Open the stance, play with a straight bat, and smash the bad ones.

Gayle’s problem is a lack of foot movement. If you don’t move your feet against a swing bowler, you’re fucked. So his record proves. He’s rubbish against swing.
It’s all well and good hitting through the line, until that line changes.

Comment by Suave

Gayle averages 1.42 in innings when he is dismissed by Vaas. If he can get to 2 then Vaas has trouble getting him.

Comment by David Barry

Fortunately for Vaas, that doesn’t happen very often!

Comment by Suave

It’s all very well saying that now, but I was 12 at the time.

I wonder if Phil Tuffnell’s average against Vaas is better?

Comment by The Atheist

No doubt, you’d have him in your pocket now then.

I don’t think he ever batted against Vaas.

Comment by Suave




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