Suave's Republique Cricket

Stupid f*ckheads.

It’s just after 10pm here in The England, and the missus is out watching the NY ballet.

I’ve just had myself a nice grease soaked pizza, and I’m having a few ales watching the cricket.

The stupid fuckarses that make up The Englands top order, have capitulated royally and The England were 4-3 after 7 overs.

Vaughan played down the wrong line AGAIN!!! What the fuck is his problem, that’s the third time in three tests he’s done that.  Fucking thunderbird twat.

In comes Wing Commander.  This fucker needs his wings clipped.  Shithead.  Strauss played at one that was a foot outside off-stump, his weight was back rather than forward, and he was out caught in the gulley for 0.

FEC Cook, got himself out to a loose drive off the bowling of Coldplay front man Chris Martin.  Inside edge, gate wide enough to drive cattle through, and he’s back in the pavillion.

KP & Ian Bell at the crease, and we’re in real trouble.

Angry is an understatement for what I’m feeling now.  I want to smash houses and burn villages.

10 overs, 9 runs, 3 wickets on what everyone is saying, is an absolute belter.

Twats.  The lot of them.

15 Comments so far
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Have no fear! Here comes Colly to the rescue!

Comment by The Atheist

Very sweary indeed!

Don’t forget your pitchfork.

Comment by Miss Field

It ended up a reasonable day. If Stuart Broad can stick around, we may get to 300.

But no team has ever won a test match after losing 3 wickets for 4 runs or less.

Comment by Suave

Are you changing your prediction??

Comment by Miss Field

No… I’m sticking to my guns.

We may still win this, but we’ll have to bowl extraordinarily well.

Comment by Suave

I admire your faith.

Comment by Miss Field

One has to stand by their laurels at all times.

Comment by Suave

For sure. Go you.

Do you know when they all head off to England?

Comment by Miss Field

Not entirely sure, but the first test starts on May 11th I think.
So I’d imagine it’s two weeks before that, although a number of the Kiwi’s will probably miss the warm up matches, as they’ll be in the IPL.

Comment by Suave

Oh blimey, I thought it was virtually straight away. I should look at my own list haha.

Comment by Miss Field

Actually, I think one team has won a Test from a worse position – Pakistan (against India), when Irfan Pathan took a hat-trick right at the start.

England are still doomed, though.

Comment by A P Webster

KP played a good innings. The background of his own slump in form and England’s situation, it was one of his top innings.

Southee was good and both Vaughan and Strauss were sniffed out by him. The balls prior to the ones they got out to impacted their decision to play the crucial ones as they did.

Comment by Soulberry

No, they’ve got the whole of April for county cricket or IPL, depending on which side you bat for..

AP, I forgot about that one. Pakistan absolutely spanked the Indians in that test.

Soulberry, he did very well for his first test, but Vaughan keeps playing the wrong line. There’s only so many times you can say that he’s been done by brilliant bowling. And Strauss shouldn’t be playing at all, let alone playing at a ball two feet outside off-stump.

Comment by Suave

Target > 200 in the 4th, England should win. Unless Vettori plays another blinder.

Comment by Naked Cricket

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