Suave's Republique Cricket


Oh I say!  What would HM say about that…

Alastair Cook had a good old time before the start of last season, when he got the opportunity to paint naked ladies.

He then had to pose for photos, which must have been a real pain in the arse..

Spanking shot, cooky!

William Wales’ Girlfriend used to be in the same rowing group, called the Saucy Sisterhood.

Two maidens, well bowled!

Obviously as leader of the Suave republic, I can’t abide the royalty, but if you’re going to be king, why not get yourself a wife who belonged to the saucy sisterhood?!

It appears that there is sharp increase in the number of people searching for Alastair Cook naked (I did a little investigation, and he’s very popular in the gay community, along with Simon Jones).

Please do stop it now.. This is a suave, sweary, illiterate cricket blog.

In other news, Matthew Hoggard is feeling slightly aggrieved after being dropped for the second test. Especially since this is the first time he’s been dropped since Sri Lanka 2003. He was also upset that his family had flown 26hrs to see him play, and all they got to see was him carrying the drinks. Oops.. Should have been a bit fitter sunshine!

Something I’m sure surprises absolutely no-one next. Andre Nel has NOT been recalled to the South Africa squad to tour India. Charl Langeveldt’s replacement will be Monde Zondeki.

It surprises me that Zondeki wasn’t chosen over Langeveldt in the first place, having taken 60 odd wickets at an average of 19 this winter (summer in the southern hemisphere). But the political machinations in South Africa continue. As a test match bowler he’s unproven, and though he has an average of 27. something, if you take Zimbabwe out, it shoots up to 45.

I can’t see Andre Nel playing for South Africa again, after this. With the big money on offer to become a Kolpak player in the UK, or a baddie for the ICL, the temptation to leave behind a regime that has right royally fucked him over would be too big.

If I was a county chairman, I’d be on the phone to Andre straight away!

27 Comments so far
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Maidens my foot!

Also, I don’t really think the word ‘sweary’ does much for your cause, it’s a bit too endearing-sounding.

In the top photo, the woman on the left looks like a man.

Good post though, will be interesting to see what Nel does.

Comment by Miss Field

These are proper posh totty. Whether they be maidens, I cannot say.

I don’t mind endearing viewers, that’s part of my job. The other part is to annoy the shit out of people.

She is a bit manly, but any woman who smiles by using her tongue like that, is definitely Saucy (in my experience).

It will. Jacques Rudolph got fucked over in the same way, and he has turned his back on Saffer land, and plays for Yorkshire as a Kolpak now.

Comment by Suave

I find it intriguing that you give saucy a capital S.

What was the purpose of this proper posh totty exercise? (The photos, not your post)

Comment by Miss Field

I wonder what Freud would say about that?

It was a charity calendar for the saucy sisterhood.
They posed with footballers, jockeys, athletes.

All in bodypaint as the outfits.

Comment by Suave

It looks so real. I would have no idea they weren’t wearing clothes until you told me.

But, I’m suprised at you Suave. Letting nudies on your site like this. It’s demeaning.

Comment by The Atheist

I am friends with one of the Sisterhood and she is great.

That is all.

Comment by Miriam

oh, and, all go buy the charity calendar.

Comment by Miriam

Suave’s an entertainer and those tarts choose to demean themselves… Not that I’m entertained, but clearly he is, and isn’t that the most important thing of all?

You’re joking about it looking real, I know you are, so I’m not going to ask if you were being sarcastic. K?

Comment by Miss Field

They are good people, not tarts, now go buy the charity calendar.

Comment by Miriam

Well said Miriam..

I’m sorry Miss-Field, but I think that’s a little unfair. These women are doing this to raise money for extremely good causes.

Go here for more information.

They support Ben Hollioake’s Chase Charity, so extra incentive to visit, and help out.

Comment by Suave

Miss Field, you weren’t to know, so I’ve sent you a link to their facebook group, which also has details of how you can – guess what? – buy the charity calendar.

Comment by Miriam

But the looks of things, it’s quite chilly.

Comment by The Atheist

ATHEIST! For that smut, TWO calendars to be purchased by you, one for home, one for your new job.

Comment by Miriam

It certainly does, could you tell by the number of layers FEC Cook was wearing?

Comment by Suave

I’m not sure I would make a good impression on day one with their calender.

I only make that observation because you can see the Angel of Death thoughtfully placing a heating fan for the girls. You can see the hot air blast up.

You seem to be keen to keen this calender? Are you Ms April, by any chance?

Comment by The Atheist

April? Of course not. April is the cruelest month.

Comment by miriam

Oh I get it, that’s why she’s manly, because she’s not a model. I think it’s funny you all jumped on me for calling them tarts (and rightly so) but their groupies, or whoever runs their Facebook pages, call themselves wenches. Another great word.

Is Ben Hollioake the guy who was drunk and speeding and crashed his car and died?

Comment by Miss Field

Ben Hollioake was the promising cricketer who played a couple of tests and a few more ODIs and whose life was tragically cut short a few years ago and whose anniversary of his death falls on Easter Sunday this year, so let’s think of his family at this time, yes?

Comment by Miriam

I’ll take that as a yes.

Comment by Miss Field

Seriously, let’s step away from the Hollioake.

Comment by Miriam

stuart broad naked

Monty panesar naked

jesse ryder nude

shane watson naked, nude and lubed up

Uncle J rod smells like chesse

that should get a few more hits

Comment by J Rod

I get a lot of Andrew Symonds girlfriend.

What sort of cheese?

Comment by Miss Field

Jesse Ryder nude, I hear ya lady [or man].

Comment by Miriam

errm….what you wrote alongside those images???

Comment by straight point

Yes let’s not leave out our gay viewers!

Sorry Straight Point, was that a rhetorical question?

Comment by Suave

for a change the hot images appeared on cricket blog so i could not concentrate…on what you wrote and hence the Q? ;-))

Comment by straight point

Oh, sorry about that!! Glad you liked it though.. If you feel like a nice calendar, visit the saucy sisterhoods website, it’s all for charity.

Comment by Suave

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