Suave's Republique Cricket


Harbajhan Singhing to Brett Lee!

Did you see what I did there.. Nice bit of word play Suave, I hear you saying.. Well thanks, anytime, you’re welcome etc…

One of many gifts I received for my birthday was the first series of Flight Of The Conchords.

If you haven’t seen it yet, you bloody well should do. It’s the finest thing in the world, and the greatest thing Kiwi’s have created since Sir Richard Hadlee.

If you’re a fan of The Mighty Boosh, you’ll love this. If you’re not a fan of The Mighty Boosh, or FOTC, then you need a lobotomy.

In one episode, Bret (along with Jemaine), is feeling down and body conscious, and needs a pick me up, so Jemaine writes him a song.

Myself, and the lovely Miriam were discussing this here…

Mims thought it would be wonderful if someone sang, “Bret, you’ve got it going on” to Brett Lee.

I recalled that Harbajhan Singh obviously likes Brett, as he spanked his arse lightly with a bat, during the 2nd test against Australia. As you all probably remember this started all the Teri Maki shenanigans, that went on and on and on and ariston….

So, Mims suggested I create a Facebook group, and I have done so..  It are here..

We’re trying to get the BCCI to punish Harbajhan Singh, by forcing him to Singh to Brett Lee.  If we can get a full Bollywood dance troupe, to join in, then even better.

The lyrics for the amusing ditty are shown below

Hey there Bret, I see you looking down.
Don’t want to see my little buddy there with a frown.
Just because I get more women than you, well that’s only because they don’t know you like I do.
Sure, you’re weedy and kind of shy.
But some girlie out there must be needy for a weedy, shy guy.
They want you as the needle when they’re rolling in the hay.
Just hear me out when I say…

Bret, you got it going on.
The ladies will get to know your sexuality when they get to know your personality.
I said, Bret, you got it going on.
Not in a gay way, just in a “hey mate, I wanted to say that you’re looking okay, mate.”
Why can’t a heterosexual guy,
Tell a heterosexual guy that he thinks his booty is fly.

Not all the time, obviously, just when he’s got a problem with his self esteem.
Don’t let anybody tell you you’re not humpable.
Because you’re bumpable.
Well, I hope this doesn’t make you feel uncomfortable.
If I say you’ve got a boom ow-ow.
Come on Bret, help me out now.

Bret, you got it going on.
(You got it going on!)
That’s the conclusion that I’ve come to.
But that doesn’t mean that I want to bum you.
Bret, you got it going on.
(Got it going on…)
No doubt about it, we’d be gettin crazy.
If one of us was lucky enough to be born a lady.

If one of us was a lady, and I was your man, if I was your man.
Well, sometimes it gets lonely, and I need a woman.
And then I imagine you with some bosoms.
In fact, one time when we were touring and I was really lonely.
And we were sharing that twin room in the hotel.
I put a wig on you, when you were sleeping, I put a wig on you.
Oh, ohhh, oooooh, oh, and I just laid there and spooned you.

Bret, you got it going on. 

So join me, cricket loving brethren & sistren, and we shall create the greatest musical apology in history!!


57 Comments so far
Leave a comment

Oh oh oh please let me be in the video. I have a sari!

Comment by Miss Field

Of course you can.. All are welcome, as long as you know how to screw in the light bulbs, or point to the sun.

Comment by Suave

Brett Lee would be up for it, but you might need to get Kabir Bedi to play Harbhajan and do the Singhing.

Comment by Miss Field

I get a search tag! yay!

Comment by Miriam

Or Sanjeev Bhaskhar! Haha.

Actually Miriam, people search for your blog… you’re in demand.

Comment by Miss Field

Oh god, not again. People can stop that right now.

Comment by Miriam

Facebook? I remember that. Wasn’t that cool, once?

Ooh! It’s a scathing hit-down by the Atheist!

Comment by The Atheist

Shit, he’s caught that third-person bug. Quick, Suave, you’re closer, swat him like a fly!

Comment by Miss Field

I will hound the boy, and thhow him to the gwound woughly, centuwian

Comment by Suave

You weally will?

Comment by Miss Field

I’m not bothered by a smack-down from TATE MODERN PERV.

Comment by Miriam

Exactly Mims.. He shouldn’t be too difficult to find. I’ll buy timeout and look for art shows with naked videos, and I’m sure he’ll be skulking somewhere.

The rotten pervert!

Missy, i weally will

Comment by Suave

Facebook has its uses.

Comment by Miriam

At least we perverts are honest with ourselves. We do it in public. Not like others, who perv at “potential” partners on facebook.

Or, worse still, joyously track the mental decline of former-partners.

Comment by The Atheist

Shouldn’t you be writing, Keats?

Comment by Miss Field

Scathing attack by “The Atheist” there!!

handbags at dawn.

Comment by Suave

Atheist, what if I convert a “potential” facebook partner into an actual partner?

Comment by Miriam

Now that I’d like to see!

I’d like an invite to the wedding please. I will even purchase a new suit for it!

Comment by Suave

I’ll make the trip! If the wedding is in Melbourne because your mystery man is Jrod or if it’s in England because your mystery man is Jrod and you’re getting married in England, I’m there.

Comment by Miss Field

No, Mims & Jrod? Never.

That can’t be true.

However I’d like to say, that I will travel to Melbourne too.

Comment by Suave

all of you, STOP IT!

neither Jrod or I do relationships, so you can all just STOP IT!

Comment by Miriam

Oh well, no new suit for me this year then.

Booo!

Comment by Suave

and

1) who says it’s jrod anyway
2) who says I wasn’t asking a hypothetical question.

Comment by Miriam

Touche!

No holidays for me then. Damn.

Comment by Miss Field

I never said a thing!

I just said i’d like to see it, and an invite to the hypothetical wedding.
Because there’s nothing I like more than buying hypothetical suits.

They are the suavest kind.

Comment by Suave

I thought i had a thing for Miss Field….

Comment by J Rod

You bastard. I know we weren’t supposed to talk about our “thing”, but come on, you’re breaking my heart hear, old fruit.

Comment by Suave

Miriam, you stalked JRod on Facebook? Er… I don’t think I’m the internet pervert any more.

*hands over the coveted sceptre of smutty searchings*

Comment by The Atheist

You’re not the internet perv, you’re the art gallery perv.

Comment by Suave

Really? I missed that.

Insensitive swine… actually I just read the Atheist’s post about the Tate Modern and the words ‘blog orgy’ appeared in my mind.

I think we’ve upset Miriam. Sorry Mizza. Or maybe she’s working.

Comment by Miss Field

Sorry man.

But what happens a a blogging trip stays on a blogging trip.

Comment by J Rod

Atheist, you must be the person who has been googling my name in relation to numerous cricket blogs, yes?

Comment by Miriam

I forgive you Jrod..

I knew the rules.

We are cricket blogging men, we stay up til five am, though we are bound by MCC law, what goes on tour, stays on tour!

Comment by Suave

It never happens here Mims, Alastair Cook Naked is my number one search term.

I’ve had over 50 visits from search engines on that alone.

Comment by Suave

ha – and all they get is the child-eyeliner and cosmo picture? Ladies [I assume ladies, but am mindful of the heterosexual conspiracy], honestly.

Comment by Miriam

It’s hilarious, I love the ladeez and their search terms,

Stuart Broad and Jimmy Anderson naked aren’t far behind though.

But my favourite today, is Sreesanth picture gay.

Comment by Suave

can you not have a little sidebar or something that only shows the google searches?

Comment by Miriam

marcus trescothick wife sleeps

the perfect boyfriend blog (boy did they get that wrong)

indian big arses

were today for me

Comment by J Rod

Also Did Miss field invite us all over for blog orgy?

Comment by J Rod

I wish I could. But wordpress is shit, unless you host it yourself, then you can add all sorts of gizmo’s.

Jrod, maybe that’s why Treco’s given up international cricket, his wife is always sleeping, or reading the perfect boyfriend blog.

I’ll bring the lube, sunshine, you bring the bourbon!

Comment by Suave

Miriam, it could have been…

Suave! Me too! My site is over-whelmed with women demanding eye-lined flesh. Well, I say enough is enough!

Comment by The Atheist

Come on my facebook, Atheist, then no need to google.

Comment by Miriam

No! Not that! Never!

Please god, no!

AAAAAIII!!!

Comment by The Atheist

That’s rather suggestive Mims! How rude!

I had one woman tell me I was sad for wasting my time on this site. I should have pointed out the irony to a woman who was searching for naked pictures of Alastair Cook!

Comment by Suave

Why are you seeking the assistance of god, Atheist? That’s not going to help you.

Comment by Miriam

Well done mims

Comment by Suave

Now you are ganging up on me.

It’s like being in Salem…

Comment by The Atheist

I don’t know what it is but it’s the OPPOSITE of Salem, Atheist; in Salem the invocation of God should have got you home.

Anyway. I’m off to spend the evening looking for naked pictures of Ali Cook.

Comment by Miriam

We should set him up a Facebook account and pretend to be him, just to watch him squirm.

Comment by Miss Field

We noble Twickeneese folk do not “squirm”; we wriggle.

How do you know I don’t already have a facebook account?

Comment by The Atheist

If I’d said “watch him wriggle” I might have you bringing me tea and a biscuit.

I just figured that you wouldn’t subscribe to something you were so critical of, but then I forgot I was talking to an English cricket team supporter.

Comment by Miss Field

If you already had a facebook account, we’d have seen you around, surely? We all know your face.

Comment by Miriam

Touche Missy.

Although, Miriam, how do you know I have a picture of me on my account? Eh? Eh? Maybe I use a picture of something else?

Comment by The Atheist

they’d find you webby, old bean.. Those two are like a pack of hungry wolves, when they want something”

Comment by Suave

It can’t be one of your abstract masterpieces, sure we’d spot you.

Comment by Miss Field

Oy! That is not nice, and I believe very much unfounded!

Comment by Miss Field

Meant in the nicest possible sense!! Obviously.

all I mean, is that you’re both tenacious.

Comment by Suave




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