Suave's Republique Cricket


I love you guys. For I have removed hatred from my heart.

So, my next prediction is that New Zealand will win this test. (a bit of reverse nostradamusing there). As every prediction I’ve made about this test is wrong, I trust this one will be too.

On to more pressing matters.

The England, are a beautiful bunch of guys.

They are in no way a big bunch of useless C*nts, that I’d like to smash into the ground with a pile driver.

Especially not Stephen J Harmison. He’s the one I love most. He’s not a useless halfwit, who deserves to be put down.

And I’m, not going to get medieval on the Yeoman, who seems to have turned into the worst bowler in world cricket over night. He’s returned to the 2003 ashes tour form, that saw him smashed every where.

Not going to hulk smash the montser for only taking 1/101. I know he contained well, going for less than 3 an over, but I am in no way suggesting he be dropped for the home tests, and to bring in young buck.

I really don’t fancy chopping Alastair Cook into little pieces, and feeding him to sharks with lasers. No sireee.

I don’t want to murder you and your family, in a particularly violent way. I’m all about the love!

The people who are in my goodish books at present, are Kevin Pieterson. About time he used his offspin to good effect.

Pietersen                   55.5   14    141      4 (2nb)

These figures were against The England in 1999/2000, he got the wickets of Atherton, Hussain, Vaughan & Chris Adams.

He’s no mug with the ball, and I’m not sure why they don’ t use him more.

Oxymoron is also there, for taking 4 wickets, and keeping the run rate down, whilst all his fast bowling colleagues bowled pies.

Colly, for not wobbling, and taking two important wickets.

And Vaughan, but only for his batting. He looked bereft of ideas when in the field and got lucky with KP & Colly.

A word about New Zealand…

Ross Taylor’s innings was sublime.. Some absolutely dreamy cover and square drives.

Vettori was magnificent also, and should have got a 100, the way he lofted Panesar over long on, was beautiful. He’s averaging over 60 this year in test cricket. Not bad for a number 8!!

Remember, I’m all peace and love.

So there will be no hacking the lads in my “I’m disappointed with you” list to bits with a machete.

Not on your nelly!


9 Comments so far
Leave a comment

I think they don’t use KP more because he quite often ignores the call.

In the five days I spent at the WACA for the third test, it happened more than once. He conveniently looked the other way.

Comment by Miss Field

Ah, selective hearing..

I suffer from a bad case of that.

Comment by Suave

Yeah but would you ignore Andrew Flintoff? I think not.

Comment by Miss Field

Easily. He would have been too pissed to do anything about it!

Comment by Suave

Yeah sure you would! You’d be like a puppy, ‘yes captain sir, whatever you say captain sir! Get you more beer, as you wish captain sir.’

Comment by Miss Field

As long as there was a drink in it for me, yes you’re probably right.

Comment by Suave

No mention of Haggard in there Suave? Conceding a century at 5RPO, before being overlooked in the last session as Colly and KP ran riot. His one contribution to world cricket yesterday might be finally putting the quaint notion of having a night-watchman to bed.

KP turned it more than any other spinner yesterday

Comment by sportsfreak

I did mention his bowling. He’s the yeoman.

The less said about nightwatchmen, the better in my opinion!

Nice turgid stuff so far today.

Comment by Suave

I just got home from my night of binge-drinking just in time for Strauss’ wicket.

Comment by Miriam




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