Suave's Republique Cricket

The England, in “we’re shit shocker”

Please go away, Wing Commander.  You won’t like Suave when he’s angry, and you’re making him very angry!

Andrew bloody Strauss, failed miserably, AGAIN!!!

Unfortunately, so did everyone else, bar Kevin Pieterson who scored 50 of The Englands total of 131.

131 against a team of also-rans, never will be’s, and Iain O’Brien.

Fucking shit, that.

Then we come to the enigma that is Stephen J Harmison.

I’ve decided that I’m going to cut his fucking hands off, and mail them to his wife and four kids.

Shit heap, wanker. The man can’t bowl anymore. Give it up Steve, fuck off home to your missus, and let someone who has a radar have a go.

That said, Tremlett wasn’t much better.

Look’s like it should be pretty boy Broad. At least he’ll look like he’s trying.

Also, let’s pray to WG Grace that Ryan Sidebottom is fit before the first test.

I woke up in a bad mood today, and this is making me angrier than hell.

I bought tickets to the first test against New Zealand at Lords yesterday, and for the last test against South Africa at The Oval, and I feel like burning them all.

Time for a coffee and a calm down, me thinks!

28 Comments so far
Leave a comment

They might need that Lord’s upgrade money to rebuild the place once you’ve burnt it down.

Imagine your team without Kevin Pietersen. Heh. heh.

Comment by Miss Field

Oh yes..

There’s going to be some ass whupping today.

Suave has the rage.

It’d be just like the team of the 90’s. Constantly shit.

Oh wait, we are still that.

He’s made no difference.

Comment by Suave

But imagine your scorecards if no one got double figures.

I think you’re The Gris. You can’t wonder where she got it from!

Comment by Miss Field

I’m going to the last test at the Oval too.

Comment by Miriam

Hey, cool, you can practice wearing your Grazza shirt, and Miriam can be your witness!

Comment by Miss Field

I try not to think about it Missy.. The rage is subsiding now. But yes, she get’s her manicness, and gris powers from daddy. The Gris, gets the rage too. Man she can throw a paddy.

What day Mims?

Comment by Suave

Well I have tickets for Sat and Sun, and I might keep Mon free as well depending on how the series stands.

Comment by Miriam

I too have tickets for Sunday!
I wanted Saturday’s too, but my girlfriend works, so it’s dadurday.

We shall have to meet for a drink then Mims.. I’m going to make a sign saying, Miriam, FOR THE WIN… You can look out for it!

Comment by Suave

dadurday! that’s like Caturday on cuteoverload.

Yes, a drink, good idea. You’ll know me by my sign saying “SUAVE LOVES GRAEME SMITH”.

Comment by Miriam

I’d like to sponsor that sign.

Comment by Miss Field

It’s a great day! Me and the gris have lots of fun on dadurday. I can’t wait until she’s old enough to want to come to the cricket with me though!

Oh Mims, you wouldn’t?!

I’d have to create a “Mims Loves Jacques Kallis and Herschelle Gibbs” sign.

Missy, enough of your naughtiness, don’t encourage her!

Comment by Suave

You know for the first 19 years of my life I hated cricket, and every summer I used to get dragged to matches. I used to cart virtually all my possessions to the WACA to entertain me. Plus my brother used to play so I’d have to go and watch every frickin weekend. It was the bane of my existance.

I say to you… good luck!

Actually Miriam I know someone pretty high up at the Oval, I could try and arrange for it to be announced over the PA that Suave does indeed love Grazza.

Comment by Miss Field

Of course I wouldn’t Suave – the stewards would confiscate my sign at the gate.
Miss Field you are gonna LOVE the tshirt i’ll wear. It says


in big sparkly pink letters.

Comment by Miriam

She already loves watching. And she appeals in unison with whoevers fielding.

She even calls out, or not out. Finger raised or a shake of the head.

Damn you all! It’s a conspiracy I tells ya! I bet them lizard headed freaks have their hand in this too. Where’s David Icke when you need him!

Comment by Suave

Thanks Mims, you really are a star!

That sounds like a cool t-shirt Mims!

Missy, you’re only 21 now?! So what happened in the previous two years, that changed it from the “bane of your existence”, to the wonderfullest thing in the whole wide world?

Comment by Suave

I suspect that a certain M Vaughan might have come to Miss Field’s attention in 2005.

Comment by Miriam

That is nice! Did you make it or buy it?

Good work Suave.

And er, when I said I was dragged to games, I meant when I was a child. Not when I was 19.

Comment by Miss Field

No! He was the DEVIL! He still is. I got interested in it during the 05 Ashes though, was in NZ and there was nothing else to watch… except the Lion Man… bleurgh.

Nah, Vaughany and me met about this time last year.

Comment by Miss Field

I made it. Such a tshirt does not exist in any shops. I bought iron-on letters off the interweb.

Comment by Miriam

Mims is a clothing designer, cricket loving, lawyering, all-rounder. Pencil her in at no6…

Missy, did you actually meet him in person? Is that why you fell for his magnetic charms?

Comment by Suave

I want to place an order for one of those shirts.

Nah, not yet. About this time last year I suddenly realised that I had been an arm’s length away from him on day 1 of the third test. It was like waking up from a nightmare in a cold sweat I tell you.

Comment by Miss Field

Cold sweat.. More like hot flushes..

Horny for Vaughany, I seem to remember!

Comment by Suave

That too!

I mean the realisation that I’d been so close and at the time had been FULL OF SCORN! Ack. Cold sweat stuff.

Curse missed opportunities. I’m going to meet him one day though, even if it’s 15 years from now when he’s commentating or just bloody watching.

Comment by Miss Field

See that pic? I was there! Like, two metres away and back about four rows on his left.

Comment by Miss Field

Oh to be 21. I like to think that England’s latest batting shocker is to transport me back to the 1990s and make me feel 21 again.

Comment by Miriam

Oh to be 21. You’re makin me sound idealistic. Nooooooo.

Comment by Miss Field

You poor love.. I’m sure you’ll get your chance for redemption!

It does feel that way, Mims.. I don’t know if my body will be able to take a re-run of the 90’s though. It’s still dealing with the after effects now!

Comment by Suave

Steve Harmison lost it after our last test kicking by the aussies he said “i’m going to go home and relax/think” this was after performing crap.
What any man worth his salt would have said is “i am getting straight into the nets to sort out why i did rubbish” your spineless steve and did well in one tour of the west indies when they were playing crap themselves you could have been great but instead have shown a yellow streak a mile wide now please dry wash your hands all the way into obscurity.

Comment by guy

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: