Suave's Republique Cricket

The England, in “We’re shit in pyjamas” shocker.

Oh fucking joy.

I woke up in a foul mood this morning, for no apparent reason.

I now have a reason.

The England have once again proved themselves to be utter shit on a stick at one day cricket.

Yes, we won two series in a row, against India & Sri Lanka, but those memories have disappeared quicker than Lord Lucan riding upon Shergar.

A half decent start, before the rain break. The England had reached 85-2, and then had one of those lovely mid-90’s batting collapses, that we remember so fondly, and were all out for 158.

Alastair Cook was the only fella that looked like getting any runs, until Ravi Fucking Bopara went and kiboshed that, by running him out.

Silly colly fuckwad

Three more run-outs. How fucking village is that.

I play a shit standard of cricket, and I’ve never played in a match where we’ve had three run-outs. Especially not two games in a row!


Difficult pitch, I hear you say.

No it fucking wasn’t

Badonkadonk Ryder and McCullum smashed 165 in 109 balls. That my learned friends, is a belter.

I don’t mind losing. What I do mind is losing so fucking aimlessly. You silly utter fuckwads.

Rant over.

Move along.

Nothing to see.

27 Comments so far
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The silly, silly boys.

I heart Jesse Ryder.

Comment by Miriam

I feel your pain.
Sri Lanka whipped India.
Atleast we have D/L to blame.

Comment by Ottayan

Wow, you really are in a foul mood. Hop over to The Corridor and look at the link that Luke’s posted here

It helps.

Comment by Miss Field

Alas, D/L made it a bit easier for us. they had to chase more than we’d actually scored, which is beyond me!

But you lost to the no2 ODI side in the world.
We lost to New Zealand.

Comment by republiquecricket

D/L is genius. Ottayan, you can’t blame it for the Indian loss; it’s just that in a reduced overs game 5 bad overs count double.

Suave, the amazing thing about tonight’s game (and if you can be bothered reading the OBO coverage you will get a feeling) was the utterly amateur performance in the “Third Disciplines”

Collingwood’s judgement of a 2nd run, Anderson’s fielding etc..

And then there was Bopara… The worst 23 in the history of ODIs.

Comment by Sportsfreak

Me and Bopara, are fast moving towards a BIG falling out.

As an Essex boy, I was pleased he’s made the upper echelons of English cricket.

Now I want him fucked off back to county cricket, until the idiot gets his brain back.

Out to a long hop and full toss in two games.
Running the only decent batsman out.

Ravi, is going to get hulk smashed.

Comment by republiquecricket

He did look rather beautiful today Mims (you were stuck in pergatory again, along with Miss-Field).
i especially liked his truffle shuffle as he smashed Anderson for six with front foot pull shot!

Miss-Field, I saw that the other day. Very poignant.

Also, not sure what’s happening here, but your mails keep popping in to my spam queue.
It appears someone is hijacking something here, so that when I click on your sit address, it brings up some bible study page..
It’s all very queer.

Comment by republiquecricket

You’re gonna have to help me out here tonight folks, Ich habe getrunken… or whatever. Much to celebrate. So why am I in pergatory?

That is rather odd. How rude!

Comment by Miss Field

Some of your comments are being placed in the spam queue. All of Miriams do too..

Not sure why?!

Comment by republiquecricket

Sorry about the spam – I have no idea why it happens. I’m trying a different address now.

Comment by Miriam


Maybe cricket blogs can sense when females are posting and have an aversion to us! Of course the logical next step is to redirect to crazeh Christians. Praise the Lord!

Comment by Miss Field

Yes, there seems to be some kind of commenter’s glass ceiling in place.

Comment by Miriam

No god bothering on here please missy, there’s enough of that with Polly & Fat Head.

Comment by republiquecricket

My business partners asked me to come up with a Internet comedy show, i have decided to put ravi’s batting on a loop.

Comment by Uncle J rod

Both still spam Mims..

No bother though, I will endeavour to check my spam queue more regularly.

I use the same blogging tool as King Cricket, so it’s the same problem sire has.

Comment by republiquecricket

That would be hilarious.

THe boy is a buffoon, and should be sent back to Essex post haste.

I’d make him spend his evenings in Bas Vegas.

If he comes out of there alive, he will have earnt his place back in The England.

Comment by republiquecricket

Bris Vegas?

A dingo stole my baby!

Comment by Miss Field

Bas Vegas? Nobody deserves that. Dukes maybe.

Comment by Miriam

Bas Vegas, is a leisure park in Basildon (my place of birth). It is a very violent town, full of smack and crack heads. The rest of them are tanked up on wife beater and cocaine. Perfect fuel for a rampage.
Bas Vegas is like a melting pot of violence.

Ah, i’m getting all sentimental..

Comment by republiquecricket

Dukes appears to be a nice place now, according to my little brother.
No-one gets glassed there.

Comment by republiquecricket

it seems that only thing preventing ENG being shit in test cricket is that it shows in white… 😉

Comment by straight point

boom boom!!

Eh, Straight Point’s here all week! 😉

Comment by republiquecricket

Also Straight Point, that reminds me of a story about Gary Lineker.

When he played for Spurs, the only tackle he ever made, was cos he’d shat his white shorts, so made a a sliding tackle on a muddy day, to hide his embarassment.

Comment by republiquecricket

ha haha… nice one…

Comment by straight point

England and India shamed on the same day.

Comment by IPL

Too true.. Sri Lanka and New Zealand both had something to aim at..

That doesn’t detract from the fact that they were both better at all disciplines on the day!

Here’s to an interesting phase in world cricket!

Comment by republiquecricket

I just don’t understand how schadenfreude can be a German word.

Comment by Mentalist

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