Suave's Republique Cricket

Sociopaths, the lot of em..

I just read an interview with that mad bloke from India (S. Sreesanth), on Cricinfo.  It made me think about how many cricketers seem to refer to themselves in the third person!

I can understand actors/musicians doing it to some extent, as most of those types usually have stage/screen names. But Cricketers don’t give themselves flashy names!

Thank W.G. Grace that these bastards are playing cricket, and not roaming the streets! It would no doubt turn all stabby and bloody, and no-one needs to see that (unless it’s Matthew Hayden of course!)

Shanthakumaran Sreesanth

“Sreesanth’s way is to be aggressive. Sreesanth will always remain Sreesanth.”

Which one am I?  Sree Sreesanth is all of them, at the same time!!  Because I’m a bloody serial killer!

Michael Vaughan

“the best thing [for England] is to get Michael Vaughan fit and playing well”.

He also does this… Talking about batting and playing one or two good strokes he would say to himself “now that was a Michael Vaughan cover drive”. This is brilliant. He not only talks to other people about himself in the third person, but talks to himself in the third person .

NEVER UPSET MICHAEL VAUGHAN! or he might get stabby.

Michael Vaughan is very happy with that defensive stroke, MCC coaching manual perfect.  WRONG LINE THOUGH, YOU FUCKING SOCIOPATH!
Geoff Miller

“There are two sides to Geoff Miller. One of them is deadly serious, one has an entertainment side. I’ve been involved in England selection for seven years and David Graveney and I have been involved in making some pretty tough and harsh decisions.”

When you get dropped from “The England” setup now, it’s murder!! mwahaha, muhuhaha, muwhahaha

I was David Graveney’s bitch, now Geoff Miller answers to no-one but Geoff Miller!  Also, let’s hope that no-one notices that David Graveney has not been around since he was sacked.  They won’t find that Geoff Miller murdered him in cold blood, honest!

Mark Taylor

“Mark Taylor was one our best batsmen last summer, If this season is Mark Taylor’s turn to miss out, so be it.”

I’m not being funny, but I reckon Mark Taylor is not only the greatest captain Australia has ever produced, but Mark Taylor is also their best ever batsman by miles, and the best commentator in the history of sport! (whisper it quietly, but also Mark Taylor is the best serial killer this hemisphere!)

Viv Richards

“Nobody talks to Viv Richards like that,”

Viv Richards is certainly pleased with retirement, more time for murdering, and killin and tings!

As some french bloke once wrote “Talking about oneself in the third person can imply .. tremendous conceit ”

Michael Atherton, said about the same thing “when cricketers refer to themselves in the third person my antennae twitch. It suggests a certain self-regard – talking about themselves almost as if they were describing a person they admire from a distance”.

Or more succintly, “I don’t know what that’s all about, mate. The only person I can remember doing it was a wrestler called the Rock.”
Jason Gillespie

Hopefully, that will be the last time Jason Gillespie ever gets the last word on this site.

31 Comments so far
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fabulous post… great photos and observation… “Hopefully, that will be the last time Jason Gillespie ever gets the last word on this site.”… LOL… thxs

Comment by Scorpicity

Thx Scorp..

I actually spent time researching this, which is highly unlike me!

Comment by republiquecricket

The Atheist doesn’t like this post.

He thinks it’s silly.

Comment by The Atheist

Sorry The Atheist.

Suave loves it though, which is all that matters to His Suaveness..

Talking in the third person, is the new black, said Suave, to Suave magazine.

Comment by republiquecricket

Sportsfreak is tipping that the next person associated with cricket to start talking in the 3rd person is Mark Nicholas.

Just a hunch….

Comment by sportsfreak

No, it can’t be.. Not Suave’s imaginary father.

He would never do it to me!

Comment by republiquecricket

That’s fabulous. Michael Vaughan is such a crack up. How does he think talking about himself in the third person is going to sound to everyone? I’d love to meet him and find out if he’s as pretentious as he comes across as. I hope he isn’t.

As for Sreesanth, well, I’ve come to expect nothing less.

Comment by Miss Field

He’s not at all, to be honest. I found him to be a really cool fella, and was very happy after leaving the hotel bar.
Sreesanth, is actually a clown. He should really spend more time freaking out children, the poor lad.

Comment by republiquecricket

You met him? Ohh you’re lucky!

Actually at the last Ashes he flew into Perth for the third test and he went to see the Barmy Army mob, and was standing about three metres from where I was sitting. If only I knew then the appreciation I’d have now. I’d have stalked him good!

I remember hearing about him falling asleep outside a bar after celebrating a win, in July/August, and a security guard had to help him get home. And as I was in England at the time, I thought it was a terrible shame that I wasn’t there to help him.

Comment by Miss Field

And I’d just like to clarify that I was sitting NEAR the Barmy Army, not WITH them. Phew!

Comment by Miss Field

At least he didn’t talk in the third person, when I spoke to him.. I might have had to runaway yelling, SOCIOPATH, MURDERER, DEATHLY KILLING FELLOW!

So what pushed your admiration for Vaughany, from mere, “he’s a fine player of fast bowling”, to, “I’d like to stalk him, and make him mine”?

Comment by republiquecricket

Fast bowling? Eh? Hmm. I’m not entirely sure, but it’s been a while now and I would very much like to find a cure. It’s rather shameful to fancy your arch-enemy cricket team’s captain. My friends say I’m treacherous. And as he’s unlikely to tour here again, I was hoping to go to NZ to see a game in March, but I couldn’t con any of the mates into going. Damn!

Comment by Miss Field

Do you not remember 2003, Miss-Field!
He was a batting behemoth, smashing the strayan attack to all parts!

if only his knees were stronger 😦

I suppose that’s no bad thing for you though. It’ll make him easier to catch.

Comment by republiquecricket

Oh I see what you meant now. I thought you meant… never mind. Well in 2003 I was finishing high school, and *coughnotactuallyinterestedincricketletalonevirgilvaughancough*
Now, however, I’m out and proud! In a cricket sense, of course. I have no doubt he could outrun me even with dodgy knees. On the other hand if his knees were, er, normal, he might make another Australian tour! Hurrah!

Comment by Miss Field

Glad to have sorted out the confusion..

I very much doubt it Miss-Field, I reckon he’s got a year or so left at the most. He maybe around for next years ashes, here. But no way will he last til 2010-11.

You need to move to Barbados, or Baslow Derbyshire).

Comment by republiquecricket

Fancying the other team’s captain = exactly the position I will be in when NZ visit this summer. We were thinking of getting a tshirt made saying “Daniel Vettori, we’d switch teams for you”. We liked the slight ambiguity.

Comment by Miriam

Miriam that is awesome!! We’ll get something started internationally! Next time NZ are playing in Perth I’ll do it and send you pics.

Yes it’s a shame because even if he was up to scratch England players never seem to play beyond their early-mid thirties. Which sucks if you’re good enough but just considered too old. Not that Vaughan is good enough. Anyway, I thought about Barbados (England’s a bit cold for me) but considering I’d have to sort Nichola out first, it seems like a lot of effort really. Plus they’ve got kids. He insists on making it so difficult for me!

Yeah Daniel Vettori’s gorgeous. Nerds playing cricket makes me happy.

Comment by Miss Field

Ladies, please!!

Vettori may float your boat, but he’s no Iain O’Brien is he?

Comment by republiquecricket

I actually don’t know who that is. But I hope you’re not doubting Vettori’s talent! Hmmm.

While we’re on the subject of Vaughan though, I have heard from numerous English people that he is widely thought of as a closet case. Now here in Australia people don’t think that, so I was surprised to hear it from English people. What’s the deal?

Comment by Miss Field

No, never..
Look Iain up on Cricinfo.. He’s a beautiful man.

I’ve never heard that!!!
Vaughan certainly doesn’t seem to be one of them, there gay fellows.

I’ll ask my friends over the weekend, and do a small survey.

Comment by republiquecricket

Ahahaha he has the same hair as Sidearse. W00t.

Yeah I hadn’t heard it either, I was quite horrified when I heard it repeatedly. Cheers mate.

Comment by Miss Field

You’re still alright to secretly stalk our beloved skipper.

Comment by republiquecricket

Miss Field, we should stop talking about pretty boys. Whilst I’m sure Suave is fine with indulging us with a little Vettori-love, we’ll give cricket-loving females a bad name.

Comment by Miriam

Miriam, I’m always happy to oblige.

Comment by republiquecricket

You know Miriam I was thinking the same thing. Just can’t help myself when someone mentions Michael Vaughan haha. Anyway, we’re just lucky that our love of cricket has two aspects. But I’d like to say here and now, that I’d happily watch a test match between Sri Lanka and the West Indies, and I don’t fancy any of their players. On the flip side, I liked Ricky Ponting and (naturally) Brett Lee before I was interested in cricket. Mutually exclusive you see.

So… is India going to win?

Comment by Miss Field

I’m going to stick my neck out and say: maybe.

Comment by Miriam

If they can score 450, yes.
If they reach 420, probably
less than 400, maybe not.
less than 350, No.

I reckon that should cover all bases.

Comment by republiquecricket

Well they’re on track to win in that case.

Comment by Miss Field

Brilliant post!

Comment by benstinga

Thanks Ben, appreciate that!

Comment by republiquecricket

Interesting stuff. Atherton put it perfectly.

Comment by yatharth

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