Suave's Republique Cricket


Back by dope demand…

So, after an enforced absence, in which I missed pretty much a whole weeks worth of cricket, I’m back.

So what’s happened whilst I’ve been away?

India beat Australia to bring the Border-Gavaskar trophy back to life.

Anil Kumble joins the 600 club, and becomes the record holder for most caught & bowled’s.

Irfan Pathan wins man of the match, and looks to be a proper all-rounder now.. If he was ginger, he’d join my army, but he’s not, so he won’t.

And he also won that, with only one leg!

Fuck I’m good, and I’ve only got one leg..  How great am I?!

Dirty Saffers beat West Indies in the 20-20 and the 1st ODI. Pollock doing well both times, in his last few outings for them.

He does well by being fucking boring mind, just like he has been for the last fifteen years.

What is it with Christians and cricket. Actually what is it with Christians? Why does believing in imaginary friends cause you to become a fucking bore of the highest order?!

I had a friend who saw visions, spoke in tongues and generally believed a sentient being was controlling his mind, and he was a fucking great bloke, except for the stabby thing, and the axey thing, and the ending up in a padded cell thing..

England sack David Graveney, and then appoint his bitch, a wheelie bin, and some bloke who is a Royal Commentator? Imagine doing that for a job.. It must be great, commentating on Prince Philip’s regular gaffes would be joy enough..

Nasser Hussain says half the team are all pussies, and offered them into the car park behind Chelmsford’s County Ground for a scrap..

The only person to turn up was Nasser, who kicked ten bells of shit out of himself, and went off calling himself dirty names. Like poohead, pissypants, and fart face.

Lastly, Australia were hammered by “The England”, in the Hollywood Ashes. Robert Key was the winner, as always.

We should have taken him to New Zealand, as he’s literally a batting behemoth.


8 Comments so far
Leave a comment

Hello. In that photo Irfan Pathan looks a bit like he has a half-absorbed twin.

Comment by Miriam

That must be his brother Yusuf, I wondered where he’d gone!

Comment by republiquecricket

Poor Yusuf. He has to watch Irfan have all the cricket success and probably all the lady success, and then to cap it all he gets absorbed.

Comment by Miriam

Poor Yusuf has to watch as Irfan reads all the numbers in his old black book… Unable to stop his now stronger, evil, one-legged, all-rounder brother, from stealing his powers, and all his lady friends.

Some people really do get all the luck.

Some people get absorbed by their brothers.

Comment by republiquecricket

Once again, I’d like to say thank you to my sisters for not absorbing me.

Comment by Miriam

You, like myself, were one of the lucky ones..

Comment by republiquecricket

i think i walked into the wrong conversation

Comment by Uncle J rod

You always do, Uncle J…

Had you not noticed that the room is always eerily quiet, when you enter?

But by all means, take the conversation in a new direction if you wish!

Comment by republiquecricket




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