Suave's Republique Cricket


West Indies In “We are Shit” Shocker

Shitting hell, we are absolute shite!

Oh dear…

At least there is some semblance of normality returning to the world of cricket.  The West Indies were bowled out for 139, with Pollock taking a 4-fer on return.  That’s utter shite.  No Chris Gayle, no Sarwan and Lord Megachief of Gold having a rare off day, puts the windies on the back foot and they are all out before tea.  Geoffrey Boycotts mother would have lasted til tea!

Their current problem is that 90% of the team is shit.

Darren Ganga.  Looks great technically, but is utter shit.

Brenton Parchment. averages 28 in first class cricket (really shit), which unbelievably, is good enough to get you into the West Indian team. 

Runako Morton.  Shit, and stupid, so double shit.

Dwayne Bravo.  Can’t be bothered, therefore shit.

Marlon Samuels.  As above, but shitter.

Shivnarine Chanderpaul.  Is Lord Megachief of Gold, therefore not shit (except playing with the tail)

Denesh Ramdin, decent enough keeper, but is shit with a bat in his hand.  And he looks 12.  also a bit like shiv’s little brother.  And is shit.

Darren Sammy.  Actually looks like a very decent all-rounder.  Good bowling as shown in his 7/66 against England last year, and handy with the bat too.  Not shit really.

Jerome Taylor.  Very good ODI player averages 25 in that format, nearly 40 in test cricket though.  Pyjamas good, whites shit.

Daren Powell.  This fella confuses me, sometimes he looks OK, most of the time he’s shit.  Averages over 44 with the ball, is therefore in the same category as Mohammed Sami, which is really fucking shit.

Fidel Edwards.  Is also shit.  In the same club as Sami & Powell, as his average is above 40.  Good ODI player though.

As you can probably tell, shit is my favourite word of the day.  I feel it, the weather is it, so are our Carribbean chums.


6 Comments so far
Leave a comment

oh…shit..

Comment by straight point

What, not a sniff of a comment about Brenton Parchment’s name? His name is Parchment! Parchment! It’s a funny word in itself, and it’s his name!

Comment by Miriam

I guess you could say that his defence is paper thin, boom boom!

Comment by republiquecricket

With a tissue thin average.

Comment by Martyd

The Windies bowling after tea was close to the shittest I have ever seen in a Test match.

Comment by Tony T

Martyd, good lad, we like that one!

Tony, you were not wrong. It was dire, even Amla had a strike rate of over 50 (for the first time in his career), and to let that arse Graeme Smith get a hundred at almost a run a ball is unacceptable.

Basically they’ve got an attack the consists of three bowlers who average around forty, and a back up spinner who doesn’t spin it, and bowls on the legs of one of the strongest players in world cricket, off his legs.

Comment by republiquecricket




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