Suave's Republique Cricket

Back again… Had to disappear for a couple of days (how dare my employers force me to work for my extortionate salary!)

Things I’ve learnt about The England cricketers this morning..

Jimmy Anderson wears paper thongs (not flip flops, you antipodeans), and has spray tans. He is also considered the best dressed player by his team mates. He also has a beautiful wife….

Stuart Broad makes female journalists swoon. Ricky Schroder seems to have given up his child acting career to become a cricketer. How queer.

Paul Collingwood loves Hugo Boss, and won’t be seen in the streets wearing make-up.

Anderson, Broad & Cook all posed naked for an issue of Cosmopolitan.

Unfortunately Miss-Field, no horny for Vaughany in this issue.. So I’ve included a little piccy for your pleasure.

This is not the behaviour of a team ready to fight!

Luckily, we’re only playing New Zealand. Who are marginally better than Bangladesh, and a tad better than the West Indies (although I reckon it’s close).

I predict a white-wash for The England .

Ian Bell as highest run scorer.

Matthew Hoggard, with most wickets.

Everyone looking and dressing well.

Unfortunately, I try this sort of thing. Every now and than I try to dress well for cricket. Even going as far as looking like Douglas Jardine.

I wore the white tie, open neck shirt combination.  I had a shocker that day.  I refused to get my whites dirty, so never dived to stop anything.  My lazy off spin, didn’t, and was lazier than usual.  The opposition bowlers didn’t take to kindly to me suaving it up, so they bowled three beamers at me, and every other ball was short.

I scored 2, I bowled three overs for 45.

England beware.