Filed under: Cricket | Tags: Cricket, Mike Hussey, New Zealand, Michael Vaughan, Geoff Miller, England, Alastair Cook, Andrew Strauss
Andrew Strauss
Wing Commander flew out to New Zealand early, to get some practice in, before rightfully resuming his place at the top of the order for The England.
He’d signed up to play for Northern Districts, which I’m assuming is a place on the north island where there are those famed animals Districts.
A rest was all he needed, before he re-discovered the awesome form, which saw him become the second fastest player in history to 1000 runs (recently overtaken by King Probot, Mike Hussey).
Alas, it hasn’t happened. Posh lad is still fucking shit. Averaging 20 after 8 innings with a topscore of 39, playing in New Zealand. Even Alex Gidman averages more. Now that’s embarrassing.
How on earth can he be considered for The England’s test squad, when he can’t even batter New Zealand’s district trundlers..
As opening partnerships go, Wing Commander & Trescothick were pretty fucking good. With Cosmo Pinup Cook however, they were shit. They never get us off to a decent start, primarily, because they both have the same technique/temperament (CPCook being a better player)
Cook & Vaughan looked good in Sri Lanka, and for the first time in a fair while, actually gave us two 100run opening partnerships.
Here is my message to Sociopath Geoff Miller.
Clip his wings, and send him home.
Please.
UPDATE
Michael Vaughan had this to say about Shit Posh Lad.
“There’s a real chance that Strauss coming back will mean my moving down to number three,” he said ahead of the first Test on 4 March.
“If I open that’s fine but I also love batting at three and I think that’s a good position for a captain to be at.
“Strauss has come back because he has a huge amount of character, great experience and we like that - he has always opened and I like batting at three, so I expect that’s how it’ll be.”
Stupid Captain thunderbird.
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There is no south african left in him now. Good for him, bad for your cricket team.
Comment by Uncle J rod February 7, 2008 @ 3:13 pmNow we’ll have to scour South Africa, for some other Dirty Kolpak player to take over the reigns..
Maybe Jacques Rudolph.. Not a bad player, in three years he’ll be qualified.
Comment by republiquecricket February 7, 2008 @ 3:23 pmWell, considering that most of the world is part of the English British Empire, don’t you think you should just, you know, revoke their independence. Send some gun boats over to the Cape to get our players back.
Comment by The Atheist February 7, 2008 @ 5:26 pmI’m all for it, as long as I don’t actually have to fight.
Comment by republiquecricket February 7, 2008 @ 6:40 pmBeing a Suave sort of fellow, I reckon I’ll take the rank of General and drink good quality port all day, whilst watching the boys from afar!
Much like my normal days!
General Suave I must protest. Captain Virgil isn’t stupid! Deluded maybe, foolish yes, and damn near-sighted for not spotting me. But stupid… you go too far!
Comment by Miss Field February 8, 2008 @ 5:54 amI’m sorry to upset your lovely Virgil..
But if he thinks that picking Shit Posh Lad is a winning idea, then I shall have to thrash him within an inch of his life.
It’s madness I tells ya..
Comment by republiquecricket February 8, 2008 @ 8:42 amNah don’t thrash him, obviously he likes pain, or else he wouldn’t make dumb suggestions that lead to repeated failures.
Comment by Miss Field February 8, 2008 @ 8:48 amGood point… I’ll banish him to western australia, where you can get all Annie Wilkes on him!
Comment by republiquecricket February 8, 2008 @ 9:01 amHaha dirty bird. I’ll hobble him at the knee.
Comment by Miss Field February 8, 2008 @ 9:13 amI reckon you could do that, by stroking him gently. His knees are as brittle as the most brittle thing from brittle land.
Comment by republiquecricket February 8, 2008 @ 9:48 amWhich, let me tell you, is reasonably brittle I’d say!
Your man Strauss was nicked out by fringe test bowler Iain O’Brien (he of the pierced belly button MF) for 10 yesterday.
Comment by sportsfreak February 11, 2008 @ 4:23 amWing Commander has still got it!!
I reckon he’s lulling you all in, to a false sense of security, just like your team did.
Rubbish now, but when the real games start, superduper.
Comment by republiquecricket February 11, 2008 @ 8:25 amIan Butler, whose test career was spent at #10, looked better.
Comment by Sportsfreak February 11, 2008 @ 9:21 amHe is.
Alas, the two sociopaths Vaughan & Miller, are still suggesting that he will open.
Comment by republiquecricket February 11, 2008 @ 9:30 am[...] Wing Commander, showed what a useless twat he is, buy smacking his off stump with a bat. Not in an angry way, like the West Indies did back in the 70’s, but a “look at me, I’m a St Trinians hockey player” [...]
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